A Black Lady Sketch Show | Gang Orientation (Full Sketch) | HBO


♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ The Reefs have an exciting year
of gangbanging ahead of us. Blippety-blippety. ALL: Scat, scat, scat. But first, let’s murk
these announcements. This year we’re excited
to announce that you can now work
from home two days a week, as part of our new
tele-bang policy. (CLAMORING) And, we’re increasing
our paid, parental leave from four months
to six months. (CLAMORING) Lowering my risk of postpartum
like a mother fucker. And just to be clear,
we’re not calling it maternity leave anymore,
because we don’t want to be complicit in enforcing
a cis-normative agenda. -Blippety?
-ALL: Scat, scat, scat. Now, we got a few new members
here today. So let’s start off
with a little ice breaker. State your name,
where you’re from, and one positive thing you hope to get while being
in a gang. Young blippety? You first. Okay, um… Hi, everybody, my name’s Jess. Um, I’m originally from Houston. But no, I don’t know Beyoncé. (LAUGHING) GANG MEMBER: Wow. You wild. I’m just really happy
to be here. You know what I’m saying? And I think that’s it. Hold up! I asked you to include
a positive tidbit. Oh, my bad. Um… -I’m just really trying
to give back–
-WOMAN: No. You were too busy
being a comedian. And since you don’t want
to follow instructions, I’m assigning your mark ass
to the corner of 3rd and Bonaparte. -Aww…
-3rd and Bonaparte? But that corner stay
in the shade, I’ll be cold. Pack a light jacket, buster. Don’t let this 401k fool you. I’ll still… fuck you up. Okay, my bad, blippety. Now, please note
that after this meeting, we will be taking a tour
of Reef territory, including all
of our satellite corners. Shelly will be giving
assignments to all of our new members. While Wanda Yikes over here
will keep her same breezy-ass corner. Alright, who next? State your name,
and your goals for trapping. Shenedra. Why you sittin’ there looking
all blippety stupid? You asked me my name.
Shenedra. I also asked for your goals. Oh, to bang. Okay, you too cool? You can’t introduce yourself
with enthusiasm? You been a Reef for what,
five minutes? You already trying to stunt? You didn’t even finish
your start paperwork, homie. You think you hard? Finish a 99 without looking
at your driver’s license, nigga! That’s hard, nigga! What? Oh, okay. Okay. Why don’t you take
your tough ass and wash our delicates? Ugh, that’s nasty, though! Yeah, be sure to use an
unscented, toxin-free detergent. Nigga got eczema. Next. Oh, is it my turn?
(GIGGLES) What the fuck do you mean,
“Is it my turn?” (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) Huh?! What part of next
don’t you understand? Someone about to get fired. And I mean fired, fired. (SCREAMING) -JESS: You don’t gotta kill her!
-Kill her? Only thing about to die
is her career. Yeah, take your gun
and motivational posters… and don’t even think about
severance package! (GROANS) (GARAGE DOOR OPENS) NARRATOR:Monster.com.(READS PROMPT)

100 comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *