A Black Lady Sketch Show: Get the Belt (Full Sketch) | HBO


MAN: (ON TV)Uh, Pat,
I will take a T.
-(BUZZER SOUNDS)
-(AUDIENCE GROANS) MAN:Okay, okay, I got it.
I will take a lowercase T.
-(BUZZER SOUNDS)
-Buy a vowel, bitch! MAN:Ain’t none of those,
neither? Dang!
-Reniece!
-(BELL DINGS) KIMBER ZAK:
Welcome back to
Get the Belt, voted 1992’s favorite mother
versus child competition show. I’m Kimber Zak. And I’m Carmen Sipp. Tonight we’ve got
two dynamic contestants going head to head. Representing the home team is this season’s
early stand-out, Tonisha. Now, she’s been known to knock
challengers into next week. Yes. She recently took out
fan favorite Man Man with an early game spankout. Her opponent tonight is
her eldest daughter, Reniece. This 13-year-old dynamo
has been really focusing on her obedience and…
this season, she’s undefeated. Hand me the remote. CARMEN SIPP:Oh,
an absolutely brilliant
opening move from Tonisha.That remote is clearly
well within her own reach.
She’s using a frustration tacticto get Reniece
to show some attitude,
which would, of course,lead to an immediate
beat and defeat.
KIMBER:As we know,
many things can lead
to a spankout,
including showing disrespect,
raising your voice, or being told
to “Fix your face.” CARMEN: Let’s keep an eye
on the mouthal region
to see if Reniece
can hold it together.
Are you kidding me?Not a smirk or a smile!
Astonishing!
KIMBER:Wow!
She knows she nailed that one,
and boy, that must feel good!CARMEN:
Surely Reniece doesn’t think
it’s going to be that easy?
Fans know that if a child
crosses the threshold of her room without her mother
getting the belt, she wins. Mm.
Now Tonisha was born at night, but she wasn’t born last night. Surely she’s got
more in store here. -(KIMBER GROANS)
-CARMEN:Flag on the play.It looks like
the batteries are dead.
Get back here! Bring me some AA batteries. CARMEN:Oh! The dreaded
“If I Have to Get Up
and Find It Myself Challenge.”
KIMBER:Yeah,
no one wants this one.
Now historically, Reniece
has excelled at this obstacle, but she might be
battling some fatigue after playing 18 rounds of Slide, Slide Slippedy Slide
at recess today. CARMEN:This is where Tonisha’s
homecourt advantage
really comes in handy.KIMBER:Yeah, well,
an advantage she always has
because Reniece hasn’t paid
nan one bill around here.Let’s put 15 seconds
on the clock.
-♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
-(TIMER BEEPING) CARMEN:Oh,
she’s picked up the blue tin.
Not gonna be anything in there
but needles and thread.
Honestly, Carmen,
you never know, these items are never anywhere
that makes a lick of sense. CARMEN:
Uh! Looks like this might be
all she wrote for Reniece.
-(BUZZER SOUNDS)
-(KIMBER CHEERS)No hocus pocus,
just focus
on that by Reniece. Amazing.(INDISTINCT CHATTER FROM TV) ♪ (“THE BIG ONE” BY ALAN TEW
PLAYS) ♪ KIMBER:
And the channel is changed.
Textbook execution by Reniece.CARMEN:Earlier tonight,
Man Man worked
Tonisha’s last good nerve,
seems to have taken its toll.
(SNORING HEAVILY) …the coupon… As a player,
Reniece probably wants to head to her room
for the easy win. (COUGHING) But, as a child, Reniece clearly wants
to capitalize off of this rare chance to watch something
she has no business watching. Kimber, what’s your play here? Well, I was in the same position
back in 1979. I could either
watchFacts of Life,which my mother had banned, due to, quote,
“Jo’s lesbian energy,” or I could go to my room
for the easy win. -Now, I chose the W, because…
-(YAWNS) I knew
if I didn’t start nothin’… BOTH: …there wouldn’t
be nothin’, that’s right. ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(SNORING)
-(KIMBER AND CARMEN GROAN) CARMEN:Reaching for the remote,
that’s risky.
Most veteran players would waituntil Tonisha hit that good,
full sleep before making a move.
KIMBER:Oh!
Clearly Reniece disagrees,
she already has the remote.She’s not in the clear yet.Seventy-eight percent
of wakeups happen
during
the channel changing stage,
something about
the abrupt noise shift
is disrupting
to a snoozing parent.
Is she turning down the TV?I’ve never seen
this strategy before.
KIMBER:Wow,
we are either witnessing
an embarrassing
lack of judgement,
or a move that could,
quite frankly,
-revolutionize this sport.
-CARMEN:I mean…-(CHANNEL CHANGES)
-CARMEN:And she did it!-You go, girl!
-BOTH: Wow! These are the moments I live for
right here! This is what live TV is about! Whoa! I can’t breathe right now. -Whoa!
-Wow! (CHUCKLES) KIMBER:Making noise
while her mother’s asleep.
She’s just showboating now.I mean, this is… wow!-KIMBER:Uh-oh, bogie!
-CARMEN:Yikes!KIMBER:
Surprise attack by Man Man!
CARMEN:Uh-oh.You lettin’ all the cold air
out my house? Wh– It wasn’t me! TONISHA: And you talkin’ back? ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ CARMEN:And just like that,
it’s over.
Congratulations to Tonisha.KIMBER:Yeah, you know,
this was clearly Man Man’s fault
but as we’ve seen here
onGet the Belt before… BOTH:
…it doesn’t fucking matter. ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ You got shoes on in my house? Uh– Uh– No, ma’am,
of course not. I would never track outside
on your floors. ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ Uh… well, that’s it for us
here atGet the Belt,so tune in next time
when we find out whether or not I was too grown
to get a whoopin’! -TONISHA: You ain’t too grown!
-Run! TONISHA: You better run faster
than that, I used to run track! Thanks for watching
Get the Belt.
Be inspired.

100 comments

  • AristoKratic Musick Group

    How fucking genius is this shit !!! Im sold !

    Reply
  • Comic Power

    I laughed so hard it hurt

    Reply
  • Dee Rich

    Loving this! I'm gonna watch again. Reflections of my Black childhood. lol. "Too grown to get a whooping." lol " A frustration tactic to get Raniece to show some attitude." Buaaahh

    Reply
  • Treacherous J Slither

    "Now Tanesha was born at night, but she wasn't born last night. "

    Reply
  • E.C Stone

    Diane you should tell her get IT her self.

    Reply
  • Josh Wood

    "As we know, many things can lead to a spank-out.
    Including disrespect, raising your voice, and being told to fix your face." – yo, that last one hit too hard.

    My mom: "UnBaLl YoUr FaCe.."

    Reply
  • Josh Wood

    LMFAO – I can't tell you how many times I turn down the volume so that I can change the channel. Right after I tested the waters a little, by coughing within earshot of my mother

    Reply
  • Josh Wood

    "as we seen on get the belt before,
    It doesn't f**** matter"I

    Reply
  • MoorishK

    I don had flashbacks watching this episode

    Reply
  • Connie Pearson

    Felt very "precious" to me…this mom is a pig…

    Reply
  • Unlimited Ink and Paper

    "i need you to go in my room and get that thing on top of the thing" "if I come in there and find it, I'mma beat you"
    Good times😌

    Reply
  • Biscuit Gidoni

    This makes me just sad.. and brings back horrible childhood traumas.. it's funny but also no funny at all

    Reply
  • Omari Prince

    Ain’t paid nam one bill 😭😭

    Reply
  • MiskyMighty

    Tonisha was born at night but was not born last night, they had to underline the not, they are killing me 🀣

    Reply
  • MiskyMighty

    it's as if our parents had us, just so they could have free assistants

    Reply
  • K Sway

    Story of my life

    Reply
  • Kwesi Willacy

    I believe this evil sense of discipline from black parents comes from slavery days.

    Reply
  • Christopher Newton

    If i had get up and get it myself challenge was my worst id look i jst have very bad vision id lose each time it took 5 years to realize maybe i need glasses or contacts

    Reply
  • Psalm9112

    LOVE IT!!!!

    Reply
  • Saleem Heggins

    That remote scene got me experiencing PTSD πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • shimmerine1

    She has the belt on the couch next to her…Horror film

    Reply
  • Montreal Whitmore

    Everything in this skit has happened to me and NOT one time did I feel abused. It isn't for every child but since I have been in the military it is a clear distinction between those who were disciplined vs those who were not.

    Reply
  • gregory malone

    Man man let her go down by herself.

    Reply
  • rush2it

    Funny but sad.

    Reply
  • Diane Marhevka Poland

    Why is that I can't find this funny at all and I think it's mocking and don't appreciate it?

    Reply
  • Shamonique Scarlette

    stop talking about how an ass wooping is linked to trauma thats why yo ass gotta listen or else you wont have to get that ass wooping

    Reply
  • NB A

    LMAO πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ The facial expressions on the mother's face kills me!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜…πŸ˜­ And the way she rolls her neck when she gets the remote back in her hand and resumes to the television πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜­ Omg…I laugh every time I watch this over…totally reminds me of my girl and her kids 🀣🀣🀣🀣!!! TOO FUNNY!!!!

    Reply
  • I_ben-e-dict211 b

    My house the game was get whatever's in reach. Funny skit queens

    Reply
  • pwrhouse81

    Yes indeed!!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Karla Banks

    Why do black people find fond memories in getting beat?
    We are really effed up!

    Reply
  • Nesha Hannah

    Some of y'all in these comments are extra. Some kf you all were abused and I hope you get help. And the rest of us had normal upbringing and yeah spanking was involved. But we are happy ppl. and this made me laugh. Brought up good memories. it was funny . Good job.

    Reply
  • Nesha Hannah

    I LOVE MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • Jodikay Seymour

    West Indian moms are exactly the same. Hahahahhahaha

    Reply
  • Hillary D

    Oof, I'm Reneice – quiet, obedient, and honestly sneaky af.

    Reply
  • D White

    So, we all just gonna ignore "GET THE BELT" spelled out in refrigerator magnets! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ

    Reply
  • Lael V

    This was the most triggering sketch I’ve ever seen. My life flashed before my eyes.

    Reply
  • Hypotheticals Are Pointless

    I got ass whippings but at the same time CAN'T relate to this.

    Reply
  • Angie Leger

    OOOH snap, this is so accurate it hurts!. This was my childhood best friend and her mother. I literally witnessed this many times as a kid!

    Reply
  • Courtney S.

    yup , slowly turn the tv down then change the channel πŸ‘ŒπŸΎπŸ€£

    Reply
  • Renza BossDaddy

    Who’s writing this shit?

    Reply
  • Denis Mutabazi

    What about a white lady sketch show?

    Reply
  • Trevor Still

    I feel like this is reinforcing stereotypes

    Reply
  • Natashia Reid

    πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Netsearcher Services

    Awww memories…lolol

    Reply
  • KB 2x

    1st time watching. This is Funny. Remind me of my mom in some ways πŸ˜†πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚.

    Getting the remote control was a challenge!!!!πŸ˜†πŸ˜…πŸ˜†πŸ˜‰

    Reply
  • Alexandra Mandell

    I…….HOW is this considered comedy?!?!

    Reply
  • Tracy Oden

    I am a black woman. Thank God that wasn't my childhood. That mother seems not only unhinged but mentally and physically abusive.

    Reply
  • T Tyson

    Not the blue tin! Nothing in there but needles and thread. πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Kenneth Bonney

    That blue butter cookie container with the needle and thread in it is classic in the black householdπŸ˜‚πŸ’―

    Reply
  • Terra johnson

    That girl was on little

    Reply
  • Isabelle Myzer

    I love her top!

    Reply
  • R Woodard

    I want more!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • Portia Holloway

    Ain't never too old πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Tia H.

    Was born at night but not last night

    Reply
  • Melieaa McCollum

    I jumped when she move whilst sleep😭 the child hood memories.

    Reply
  • WordsOfWisdomWithKayKay

    I feel bad seeing all these comments that ppl went through sorry for you’ll but instead of saying black families it needs to be all families a toxic parent is a toxic parent I don’t like how they trying to come at black families cause all and I want say most is not this way it’s just bad parents in general I will keep everybody in my prayers ❀️

    Reply
  • Jay K

    Best sketch ever!

    Reply
  • Ruff Prophet Productions

    L M A O I LOVE THIS SHOW

    Reply
  • JupiterLove87 X

    I fuckin loved this sketch 🀣🀣

    Reply
  • Casey Spaos

    Making a paranoid schizophrenic mother that abuses her children into a comedy sketch? Weird.

    Reply
  • Truth To Power

    I don’t find this amusing given Black people’s long history of repeating slave treatment of their children – beating, whipping, etc!

    Reply
  • seafoam latte

    This hit HARD

    Reply
  • seafoam latte

    When she laughed my heart STOPPED…that's when my mom always caught me

    Reply
  • PTSD GAMING

    Can’t relate I wasn’t abused my parents actually love me.

    Reply
  • Windy3s

    Some people may not understand this πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ It's was home 🏑 still love my Dad πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Tamala Parker

    LMBO πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

    Reply
  • The BRIDGE 54

    Holly shit this too good, too accurate, well executed. I love it

    Reply
  • Pumpsie Green

    This lightweight mockery

    Reply
  • Kay Brown

    This is mad personal but I've been thinking about this a lot and wonder if others experience this. I grew up getting beatings. But the problem is that now I find if I do something wrong at work or when I was in school I would have to go into the bathroom or somewhere and punch myself or stab myself with a pen or scissors. I'm not trying to kill myself but just punish myself for the mistake because I was mostly beat when I felt I was making a mistake and now it's the only way I feel I can learn anything. It gets pretty bad to the point where ive even cut myself multiple times after having sex or masturbating because I felt so guilty for what I did. I'm just wondering if other people who were spanked go through these things as well

    Reply
  • Zuko Here

    This is so true!!! The blue tin

    Reply
  • JenlovesKingsley Beckett

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Barry Saxton

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • BOOMBOOM ROOMERS

    That People's Court music took me out!

    Reply
  • Mark P

    I used to run track!

    Reply
  • Kayla Johnson

    This is HILARIOUS

    Reply
  • Lewis Chinquita

    The last of this was Hilarious. Tune in next time to see if she is to grown to get a whopping? The first part was tension. All was good to watch.

    Reply
  • erzan

    I am Black British with Carribean ancestry so can relate. It's cruel and demoralising. I will raise my children without emotional or physical abuse.

    Reply
  • Janai Gilkes

    Whyyyy was the cocoa butter was in the cabinet πŸ€—πŸ€£πŸ€£

    Reply
  • jade marks

    it doesnt fucking matter

    Reply
  • Stet-G Voicey

    Walking on egg shells back in the day mm

    Reply
  • Jiji Solomon

    @Zmac LLC
    I cringed at the unnecessary foul language. Well, back to the African skits

    Reply
  • Iwaiu Rates

    Too funny

    Reply
  • J Bledsoe

    Ah lord I started reminiscing, then the reminiscing turned into screams. I don’t miss those days πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Laii_thegymnasts

    She’s from the movie littleπŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • d h

    What’s the name of this show

    Reply
  • Chloe 101

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I'm tf dead bruh how in the universe are we all connected like this??? I mean every single detail in this clip I can connect to from the batteries in the light bulb box to me trying to watch something while my mother was sleeping omg!!!

    Reply
  • Katharyne Simpson

    I'm unsure of the message….the "commentators" bring in a vibe of it being a joke and laughing matter or if they are trying to bring attention to incorrect behavior of the mother and possible child abuse.

    Reply
  • love4lust7301

    This show is crazy funny where have I been

    Reply
  • Livvys Crazy World

    I can’t be the only one who got anxiety from watching this

    Reply
  • chauncy primm

    Hold up homegirl got that Janet Jackson Escapade wig on!

    Reply
  • JSMN

    wow they really got every detail down from the game shows to the random batteries and shit in the kitchen drawers…

    Reply
  • _Bri_

    This is cute 😭😭😭

    Reply
  • javen Pace

    I love being black 🀣

    Reply
  • javen Pace

    I love being black 🀣

    Reply
  • javen Pace

    Being black just lit 😭

    Reply
  • Ebony Something

    This is only for the ones of us that don't have PTSD, anxiety, trust issues and all that. If it was a trigger shouldn't have watched it. I use to get whippings but only when I did something that could have been serious other then that my parents talked to me. Society isn't going to keep talking and warning you if you're black. I thought it was actually entertaining

    Reply
  • THE NINJACAT

    PArenting at it's worst. Newsflash: your kids didn't come here to be your servants…fetching you remote control, fetching batteries or being a battering tool. F*ck 'parents' who think like this!

    Reply
  • Thotimus Prime

    The β€œdon’t make me get get up & find it” challenge was like the movie Saw. You didn’t find it in time, then it was your ass

    Reply
  • DaJon Ellis

    Belt my ass the hotwheels track was my highest getting my ass whooped fear level

    Reply
  • Nathanael Joly

    I still don't understand how answering questions or defending yourself is "talking back" or "disrespectful"

    Reply

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