A Black Lady Sketch Show | Hertep Homecoming (Full Sketch) | HBO


Kwame was my wingman
at the Senior Step Show, but he stepped off
with Hannah’s heart. In another life, this could have
been my wedding. (LAUGHING) Ah… It’s– It’s funny.
I’m fine. -To Hannah and Kwame.
-(CHEERING) Come on, Ryan, you knew
you never had a chance with me. (LAUGHS) All right. It’s time for a toast
from the maid of honor, -my sister, Haley.
-(CLAPPING) Peace, brothers and sisters. You know I’m emancipated
from that slave name. I’ve told you many times
via group text, address me as
Dr. Adassa Olayinka Ali-Young. You can’t just put “doctor”
in front of your name, Haley. Only Oprah can do that for you. Congrats to the newlyweds,
Kwame and my beloved baby sister who still embraces
her devil name, Hannah. See– see, Hannah reduces
to “Ha” and “Nah”. “Ha” being the laughter
of all oppressors, and “Nah”, she shouldn’t
be using that name. Oh Lord, it’s gone be Aunt Maybelle’s
funeral all over again. That’s why I choose to exalt her
with her Ibo name… -Nkechi Amare Diallo.
-What? That’s Rachael Dolezal’s
counterfeit African name. No, no, no, no!
See, see, see, we are reclaiming that name back from
the edge-less white woman, who pretended to be
a black woman, just to get that name from us. They always plottin’. See, I told you she was crazy. You didn’t tell me she was deep. See, see, this blood diamond
on your finger is just a symbol of your ideological entrapment. -Ring, ring, slavery’s calling.
-(CROWD GASPING) You promised
you wouldn’t do this! And that doesn’t make any sense. No, what doesn’t make sense
is y’all jumpin’ the broom. Haley! Now is not the time. Well how many Caucasian seconds
must pass before it’s time for me to speak the truth? Open your ears to blow
your mind, original people. Jumping the broom
is not something our continental ancestors did.
No. There wasn’t even brooms
in Africa because there was no dirt. See, see, see, see. See, the Europeans just put sticks
in our hands, even though they had been using
vacuum cleaners since the Middle Ages.
Think about it. Dyson breaks down to Die-Son. -They want us
to kill our children.
-(CROWD GROANING) -They tried to humiliate us.
-I’m humiliated. The truth is, you two have
a beautiful black love that most people would be elated
to find. -(CHEERING)
-Woo! Praise her. Although, what me and my king,
Supreme Ramik, have, transcends
your earthly definition of love. Yes, see, we exchanged our vows
on the ancestral plane, amongst vibranium. Not down here
on your earthly plane. Also, he refuses to marry me
on this plane, for tax reasons. -Oh shit,
do taxes work like that?
-Mm-hmm. So technically,
on this plane, she’s single. But in your ignorance,
dear brother-in-law, I find a beautiful opportunity to educate the newest member
of our family. So please everyone,
raise your glasses, -(CHEERING)
-Take off your shoes, and throw your pork
on the floor. -That’s it!
-(GASPS) Girl, if you don’t sit
your five percent ass one hundred percent
of the way down, I’m cutting off
your inheritance,Haley.Okay, Daddy. RYAN:So, does Supreme Ramik
let you have friends?
HALEY:Yeah, he do.

100 comments

  • Evangelist Love

    ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคฃ

    Reply
  • Random Grove Street Thug #4

    Caucasian seconds ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    Reply
  • Lorenzo Scott

    ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    Reply
  • D. F Johnson

    SEE SEE SEE SEE …. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    Reply
  • S O N J A

    This HAS to be a recurring character ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    Reply
  • Kev F

    Waaaaaaaauuuuuuuuwwwww when she heard the "cut down of the inheritance" she's gotten quite real fast๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜…

    Reply
  • Corie Johnson

    Iโ€™m screaming , I use to work for Dyson
    Also there was no dirt in Africa?!(

    Reply
  • MrDavidKen77

    "Raise your glasses, take off your shoes and throw your pork on the floor."๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • jixxeo

    Lol

    Reply
  • I Luh Da Gram

    I cannot ๐Ÿ˜

    Reply
  • Boetie Oconnor

    I'm so happy Preacher Lawson is in here I allways hopped that he'd go places and became famous ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜Œ and he has GO! PREACHER ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

    Reply
  • Nick H

    "HWHITE HWOMAN' "They always plottin." And the Dyson joke TOOOOK ME ALLLL THE WAY OUTTTT!!!!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚Vibranium? Lmao this is my second favorite sketch next to Rome and Julissa and Black Lady court room is next.

    Reply
  • Aaron Williams

    1:25 that would've been my dumb a** lol

    Reply
  • Fayfay Barsiana

    โ€œSupreme Ramikโ€ ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    Reply
  • Nonhlanhla Dawn Ngwenya

    I died

    Reply
  • LAMARRA JAMZ

    Yo I'm laughing Soo hard ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ "Open your ears to blow your mind Original People!"

    Reply
  • Rashad Glover

    Omg!

    Reply
  • Yvonne P

    See see see ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Derico Glosson

    The movement still needs that cash !!!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚,"Okay Daddy ." ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • D

    The Hannah joke ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

    Reply
  • Jay Will

    "dy son" got me weeeeeeeak

    Reply
  • Gabrielle Williams

    "There wasn't even brooms in Africa.. Cause there was no dirt." ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Gabrielle Williams

    "Girl if you don't sit your 5% ass, 100% down" Ctfu!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Aaron -

    "Dyson breaks down to die son, they want you to kill ya kids!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Godly Child

    I am only now figuring that Dr-Orpah comment… Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz! Lol

    Reply
  • 365daysofaqua

    See, see, see, see…see

    Reply
  • Marietta Patterson

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ sit your 5% ass 100% down..O can't!!!!!

    Reply
  • Omolayo Oluwadare

    Haley needs to just be in all the skits. Sheโ€™s 100% my fav character from BLSS. Aside from Black lady courtroom this is their best skit.

    Reply
  • Audrey Mosely

    I absolutely luv this sketch and watch it repeatedly ..I didn't know what a hotep was tho..I Googled it….

    Reply
  • Sam Maurice

    Dyson – Die-son ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • __ashtheleo__ _

    It's funny…I'm fine! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    Reply
  • Truth Be Told

    Sit ya 5% ass 100% down..lol I can't with them!

    Reply
  • R Cole

    She embodied this mf character ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Charles Lovelace, Jr.

    Mom and that sly neck roll is low key hilarious

    Reply
  • Felix Awah

    DYSON breaks down to Dy (Die) and Son. They want us to kill our children. OMFG ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • MBOYA Ogutu

    To really BLOW YOUR BLACK AFRIKAN MIND BLACK TO REALITY, you must check, suss, study and learn Gij,j=O.

    It is supremely beautiful and infinite in its power (this is why you have never heard of it for the 29 years of its existence. Proving to you that Nobel Prize, Clay Mathematics, ABC, BBC, CNN, Newsweek, New Scientist, American Scientist et al are FRAUDS IN ESSENCE)

    It is OK to have a good laugh about some of our exaggerations (this skit is hilarious), but Afrikans worldwide must resist the temptation to equate trivializing our greatness with an acquired cynicism which they imagine is sophisticated realism. Leave that to our fraudulent enemies.

    Check out Gij,j=0 and spread the word.

    To the Afrikan children around you. We are not just fabulous athletes, musicians, artists of all types. And clowns.

    They need to know that OUR GENIUS IS ALL ROUND AND WE ARE TOPS IN MATHEMATICS (THE HIGHEST FORM OF KNOWLEDGE) too. Tell all the black people in your circle.

    It is impossible for me to convey to you just how humongous and crucial this code given toOyibo by God ( yes, God) is! This is not hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo numerology! No airy, fairy mysticism. THIS IS WHAT IS REALLY TRUE.

    If you walk away you are in effect giving more time for our HABITUAL PLAGIARIZING (thieves) enemies time and leeway to do what they do best:
    whitening black, then coming back to dazzle your children (to come) with a fake genius. THIS IS NOT A HOTEP JOKE! A crime is in progress and only Afrikans can stop it!

    (E=MC2 is like SUB ATOMIC PARTICLE in Gij,j=0 …..just for perspective. Oh, and Gij,j=0 is a THEOREM/TRUTH. Not a theory/good guess that may be jettisoned as new discoveries are made. Now you know why the Nobel Prize outfit is a fraud)

    THE GREATEST EVER MATHEMATICAL-PHYSICIST GENIUS IS PROFESSOR GABRIEL AUDU OYIBO. Our kids know of Professors Einstein, Newton, Hawking et al.

    Yet Oyibo is A MILLION LIGHT YEARS SMARTER THAN ALL SUCH NAMES. COMBINED! Again, just for perspective…

    Hotep. Ashe. Asante. Peace and blessings

    Reply
  • brandon queen

    Died at every word, but nothing will ever top "hwhhhite" LOL

    Reply
  • QueenMahgie

    Am dying she said E- bo.. Instead of igbo ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • QueenMahgie

    Nkechi Amara

    Reply
  • Tikeya Akins

    Look at Preacher Lawson doin his thing ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Denise King

    ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’€

    Reply
  • theRealLala

    The โ€œsee see see seee, is all of our preachers โ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • ATLGaGirl09

    Is that Preacher Lawson!!!!!!! He is AMAZING! I remember watching him at live gigs in Orlando when I was in college, and he was still getting his name out around Florida!! So proud of how far he's come while still being true to himself and his style!!!

    Reply
  • Mr. Brooks

    if you dont sit yo 5% ass 100% of the way down!

    Reply
  • Stacey Brownlee -SDAT-

    lol love ittttt

    Reply
  • Godly Child

    Oh lawd, I am just now really appreciating that both men some how found popcorn and sitting there like they watching some hilariously entertaining freak show!

    Reply
  • Cindarella55

    I think this show is just fire ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

    Reply
  • Ghesu Ndefru

    What were the last (off-screen) comments at the end of the skit?

    Reply
  • Lindsey Amaris

    Robin is a damn fool๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Danitra Bey

    So if you're a Man, you're a HO-tep, and a Woman HER-tep…??? Makes sense.

    Also, I really do(did) have an Aunt Mabel! Don't think I can handle a funeral skit.

    Reply
  • Michelle Adeniyi

    But where did they get the popcorn from ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Iโ€™m rolling

    Reply
  • Khari Wheeler

    Supreme Ramiq ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Abel Chungu Musuka

    Ive died. Someone come get my body off this earthly plain๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    Reply
  • Omari Prince

    See see see see see see ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

    Reply
  • Omari Prince

    I hope this one becomes a reoccurring character see see see see see see ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

    Reply
  • Richard Dubuisson

    The drum beats when she's talking about vibranium and the ancestral plane! Love how they think about the small details.

    Reply
  • Omari Prince

    Dy-son ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

    Reply
  • Porsh Meh

    โ€œAnd my beloved baby sister, who still embraces her devil name..Hannahโ€๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’€

    Reply
  • Comic Power

    Vibranium. Good one.

    Reply
  • Unlimited Ink and Paper

    Every black kid got an auntie like this

    Reply
  • George Parker

    "Come on Brian you know you never had a chance with me" โ˜ ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€โ˜ โ˜ ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ‘ป

    Reply
  • George Parker

    "Think about it Dyson…breaks down into die son" bruh โ˜ โ˜ โ˜ ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ‘ปโ˜ ๐Ÿ’€โ˜ 

    Reply
  • 5%LowBattery

    See…see…see ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Empyrean Tendencies

    SEE SEE SEE

    Reply
  • Shay Tha Alien

    IS THAT PEACHER LAWSON๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคฃ ???!!?! and essence hasn't age a bit ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒป

    Reply
  • Tequisha Stiles

    This is my favorite!!! See, see, see!!!๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • MiskyMighty

    "Open your ears, to blow your mind original people" they went there with this skit, LMFAO ๐Ÿ˜ญ

    Reply
  • MrBoom38

    Lolololol!!!!

    Reply
  • Gintarue animates

    PREACHER LAWSONNNNNN๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

    Reply
  • Achieng Adongo

    I feel like i'm turning into this person

    Reply
  • Liz Neptune

    Hertep = Amanda Seales lol

    Reply
  • The Frost Duo

    This show is weird AF but I canโ€™t stop watching

    Reply
  • Kno Name

    Throw your pork on the floor….๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜„

    Reply
  • vmt88

    Mmm, mmm, mmm…Essence Atkins… Timeless โคโคโคโคโค

    Reply
  • paul you

    The concept of seconds, minutes and hours came from Sumerians, who were definitely not Caucasians by any means lol. I also have to say that THede is brave to write this amazing sketch.

    Reply
  • joegee82

    They always plottin'…. LMMFAO

    Reply
  • Chelsea Walker

    The sound of the pork hitting the floor..๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • seafoam latte

    "THROW THE PORK ON THE FLOOR" BRUHHHHHH

    Reply
  • Vicki Jones

    Daddy shut that down quit….she not too wok for the inheritance

    Reply
  • kelly johnson

    "If you don't sit your 5% ass 100% down" ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Sam Tanyingu

    See..see! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • MoutonInMotion

    C C, this shit is hilarious.

    Reply
  • stankabuttforever

    if you dont sit ur 5 percent ass 100 percent down im cutting off ur inheritance…

    ok daddy lol

    Reply
  • D

    I think Iโ€™m loosing it ,I donโ€™t know how many times Iโ€™ve watched this ,Itโ€™s dope lol

    Reply
  • JT

    ROBIN THEDE IS MY FAVORITE!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Kyril J

    Meanwhile, her hair is dyed blond๐Ÿ˜Š.

    Reply
  • Sabu Mapitiza

    I LOVE IT !

    Reply
  • Peppermint Pattie

    Pre- PhD! ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Janoah Lee

    โ€œSo supreme Rafik let you have friends?โ€ Iโ€™m supposed to be studying for my calculus exam.

    Reply
  • Watching in Twentynineteen

    I didnt even know there were female hoteps. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

    Reply
  • Keia Love-Black

    That Black Hollywood party debacle brought me here. ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿฟ โ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿธ

    Reply
  • Lindsey Amaris

    I know it isnt but….This sketch reminds me of Amanda Seals๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • Jade Berry

    This one is a winner!!!

    Reply
  • Rochelle-The Bajan Stroke Survivor

    I am dead ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’€

    Reply
  • Tamia Drake

    Wasn't that black man on Americas got talent

    Reply
  • lhj276

    Absolutely brilliant!

    Reply
  • Alyssia Clarke

    If u dont sit ur 5% ass 100% down

    Reply
  • justicefosho

    Open your ears to blow your minds original people ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • theno tshabalala

    โ€œTechnically on this plain, sheโ€™s single โ€œ ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  • theno tshabalala

    โ€œTechnically on this plain, sheโ€™s single โ€œ ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply

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