A Black Lady Sketch Show | Negro League Groupies (Full Sketch) | HBO


It’s a beautiful day
for baseball,
especially with a bunch
of negroes.
Game’s at three o’clock,
and just in time, too,
’cause a dustbowl’s comin’
at five.
So grab your popcorn,a sip at a race-appropriate
bubbler,
and come on down
to the stadium!
(GASPS) Oh! There he is! Satchel Page, the world’s best
negro league pitcher! Satchel Page! An unchaperoned skirt
waiting for me after the game? This never happened before. Say, what’s your name, darlin’? Feather Atwood. But I’d rather be “Onwood.” (SQUEALS) Oops! See something you like? I thought I had to buy the cow
to see that much hoof. You, uh, greased up them cham bottoms
just for me? Oh, I did more than that. Last night, I dressed up
as a waiter to sneak into your room
at the colored hotel. But you never ordered
room service. I had to serve catfish
all night. Mm. You got me
all kinds of parched. I’m as dry as a cracker
on a biscuit. -Ooh. That is dry.
-Yeah. Better get you a drink. Right over there. Uh-huh. Say, what’s this? Oh! It’s a thirst trap.
Somethin’ new we’re trying. -“We”?
-(WHISTLES) Meet Daffodil Dunham,
Chattanooga’s finest flower. I was Miss Black Chattanooga
1931. My prize? Butter. -(GIGGLES)
-FEATHER: And of course, there’s Miss Pearlina Teatree. All the way from Columbus, Ohio. Pearlina, show the man
your magnificent mug. Lightning hurts when it strikes. (STAMMERS) That’s one nose
you ought to keep in the books. Say, uh, what’s goin’ on over here now,
ladies? Well, me and my girls want you
to take us to New York City. On your dime, of course. We wanna go to the Cotton Club. What, so you can leave me
for Count Basie? No! Not gonna let that happen
to me twice. I can’t stand
that motherfucker. Come on, daddy. We don’t bite. Got another tick. Well, I don’t bite. Hm. Baby. Baby, listen. You’re the butterfly’s boots. But I can’t take all of you
to New York City with me. Leave the– the bouquet
and the hunk of lead here to set they own traps. I rouged my knees for this? Feather, you said
he was big game. We shoulda tried for
Josh Gibson. Oh, Josh Gibson? That crumbum? Hey, he wouldn’t know
the Cotton Club from the Southern Speakeasy. No. No. I’ll find the scratch. Come on, ladies. -Let’s go.
-(FEATHER SQUEALING) Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait. What do I do if my wife
calls the hotel? Oh, just don’t answer. No. No, that’d never work. Or will it? TOUR GUIDE:
As you pass the rotunda,
you’ll see the hall of
hustlery and scamitude,
featuring beautiful oversized
portraits of Pearlina Teatree,
Feather Atwood,
and Daffodil Dunham,
who were the first
Negro League groupies.
They paved the way
for the groupies of today.
As you enter the exhibit,please leave your
checking account number,
routing number,and the last four digits
of your social security number.

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