A Black Lady Sketch Show | Rome and Julissa (Full Sketch) | HBO

♪ Me and my deuce still bang ♪♪ Dance since day one
And yes, we still hang ♪
♪ I don’t be all online
Don’t at me boy ♪
♪ Got a couple new whips… ♪
-What up, fair niggas?! Yeah, make Mary go HAM. Hey, if thou takest pics,
tag me on the ‘gram. Me thinks I throweth
the hottest parties. This next dope track
goes out to Gang Bardi! (CHEERING)♪ Look, my bitches all bad
My niggas all real ♪
♪ I ride on his dick
In some big tall heels ♪
♪ Big fat checks
Big large bills… ♪
♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ What soothe. You mad pretty, sis. Thou lookest
like Trevonte Rhodes. Oh shit, thisBird Box,
I may let you hit. Aight, bet. I came to stan my queen,
and yet, knew not I’d meet
my own Offset. Nay. To stay or should I flee
the one I love stans Cardi B. Rome, dear cuz,
has thou lost thy natural mind? She reps for she who writes
not her own rhymes. Cousin Julissa,
what is this treasonous act? His fave Onika,
simply does not slap. House Bardi and Minaj
on this concur, you got us fucked
all the way up. Okurr! Co-sign me not
with that thou sound, I fight niggas,
don’t end up in the ground. Hey, hey, hey!
Before y’all bring a bloody end to this bacchanal, look,
I’ll just playTime’s greatest female rapper,
Iggy Azalea. (BOOING) Boo not, boo not,
I’ll play Nicki. Chill! Rome, Rome,
why you gotta be a Barb? Deny the standom
and refuse its name. Fret not, like Cardi and Offset
on and off again, or Nicki and any
of her questionable men, their love shined bright despite attempts at stifling. So shall we not part,
because stans are trifling. Less you denounce your fandom,
our family won’t work. For whom, dear Rome,
would our children twerk? In truth, my love,
we can never kick it. I already bought Bardi Bouncer
tickets. Without you… I wouldn’t even wish
to draw breath. So if we can’t be together
alive, then… let’s get it poppin’ in death. Wait a minute,
a suicide pact? Something like that. Nay, social suicide. Rome,
I can’t believe you didn’t stan, I know for this I asked, but,
that’s extreme, Goddamn! And so begins
my quick and painful end. My love ’tis true. If yours is as well, catch these L’s I’ve caught
for you. Fuck, I love thee, okurr. Here I go. (SIGHS) And thus with a kiss,
I die, my nigga. Come on.♪ Box seats bitch
Fuck the gossip ♪
♪ How many of them
Could’ve did it with finesse ♪
♪ Now everybody like
“She really is the best” ♪
♪ You play checkers
Couldn’t beat me playing chess ♪
♪ Now I’m about to turn around
And beat my chest ♪
♪ Bitch it’s King Kong
Yes it’s King Kong ♪
♪ Bitch it’s King Kong
This is King Kong ♪
♪ Chinese ink on
Siamese links on ♪
♪ Call me 2 Chainz
Name go ding dong ♪


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