Baroness von Sketch Show stars tell us what they were like as teenagers | Minor Keys


Hi I’m Jennifer Whalen. I’m Meredith MacNeill. Hi I’m Aurora Browne from Baroness Von Sketch Show. What was I like as a teenager? I think… I think I was wondering what I was like when I was a teenager. I was pretty wholesome. I was the wholesome, kind of goth? I think I was okay. I was the valedictorian. I did the sports. I read the announcements over the intercom in the morning one year. I was in the musical in high school. I was super nerdy. I loved The Smiths. I wore a lot of black. I read a lot of Sylvia Plath. If I could go back to high school knowing what I know now… I’d be a little more chilled out. Yeah I just don’t think I would go. I think I would escape more. I remember being a teenager and escaping from parties. Like if it got really tense and weird or there was like too much like you have to make out with someone now. I’d always be like, “oh look there’s a bike in the garage we should all jump on it and ride around the block.” There are lots of people I’m friends with on Facebook now and I’m like why didn’t I talk to them more in highschool? Or ask them about this. You know, you’re so busy trying to make it through you don’t have the mental space to be like hey what’s new with you? I also was very good at skipping class. So I think I just wouldn’t go. I think I’d give some kid my assignment and I’d be doing something else. I’d be listening to The Smiths in my basement, moping. So, I wanted to be cool. Like in Grade 6. Not cool but just like smart and everyone is like that kid knows things. I went to this very weird high school that was built to hold 700 kids and when I went there, there were 2000 students. We were doing fundraising for the competitive rowing team that I was on. Another part of my wholesomeness. Anyway, there was this cat it was almost decomposed. And I was like, I’m going to go get its spine. And so, it had a tiny bit of hair on it, but anyway. I picked it up and I went like this and I got the spine and then I put it in a Sobeys bag. And I thought oh my god, when I go to Ms Miles science class everyone is going to think I’m so cool because I have an actual spine. There was a portable where I remember every morning the kids in the class would pick an item from the portable. Like it could be an over head projector, it could be a kids desk, it could be the teachers desk. And they would all take it, take it out the door, and throw it over the fence of the neighbouring house into the yard because one of the kids dads… well obviously the kid lived there too. That was there house, and so the kids dad every morning would be like over head projector I believe this is yours, desk I believe this is yours, so that happened. This chicken barn was like a kilometer long and it was a hot, hot summer night. It was really humid. And it felt like a circle of hell because it took forever, it was hot the roof was lower than the room we’re in now, and there were thousands of chickens. There were three to a cage, and they come to the end of their laying life. And we were little, you know teenagers, with maybe not even our full adult strength. They were like okay you gotta reach in, grab the chicken by the leg and pull it out real quick before it knows what’s happening because then it won’t be able to like catch itself on the thing. You know that moment in life as soon as you do it you’re like I shouldn’t of done that. It was a real traumatic fundraising event. As soon as I did it I was like this wasn’t a good idea. Okay, here’s the lesson. You may think it’s a great idea to get an asymmetrical haircut because you want to edge up your look. A key lesson I take away with me, if you are feeling pressure at a new years party that you have to make out with someone, you don’t! One of the most easily summed up things my mom said to me once. I was stressing about like I have to do this, and then go somewhere the next day. Should I, should I fly? She’s like, your time is worth money. And I was like, yes my time IS worth money. And you may go to the hair dresser who may say to you repeatedly “I’m not sure this is a good idea.” While you go, no no no. Listen to all those people. It’s a terrible idea. It will take you two years to grow out. Don’t do it! Your time is worth money.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *