Brian Regan Teamed Up with Jerry Seinfeld for His Netflix Sketch Show
-Thank you for coming here,
’cause you live in Vegas, right? -I live in Vegas now, but I used
to live here in New York City. -Yeah. Well, welcome back. -New York City is like
no other city in the world. If you get into an elevator
anywhere else in the world, people press “lobby.” You get into an elevator
in New York City, people “lobby,” “door close,”
“door close,” “door close,” “door close,” “door close,”
“door close,” “door close.” “Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on!” -Just close it! -If you haven’t seen
the “door close” button, it’s the one completely
worn away from impatience. “Come on! Come on!” -That’s how you know you’re in
a New York elevator, yeah. -I was in New York City when
the pope came here. -Oh, yeah. That was a big deal. -And only in New York City
do you hear people say, “Please tell me
the pope is gone.” “I’m trying to get to
the Upper West Side. The pope and his
stupid barricades.” -It is true. Traffic — But you’ve got to
learn to relax here. You just chill out and get —
-I’m trying, man. -Yeah.
-I got in last night. And I got a massage.
-Good. -I always feel weird
getting a massage. You know, you’re laying there. You’re looking through that
weird doughnut hole, you know, trying to see if you can squeeze your head
through it, you know? And I was seeing
her feet moving around. -Yeah?
-And she wasn’t doing anything. And after 10 minutes, I said,
“I don’t know the protocol, but am I supposed to tell you
it’s okay to begin?” -And you’re talking
through the… -I’m talking through this.
-Yeah. -And she said,
“I started 10 minutes ago.” She said,
“This is a Reiki massage.” She goes, “I don’t
actually touch you. My hands are just above you, and
it’s an energy healing.” [ Laughter ] So, when she was done, I said, “I don’t actually
touch my wallet. My hand is just above it. You should be receiving
an energy payment.” -I’m gonna Reiki pay you. -Reiki. Yeah.
-Oh, my gosh. Can we talk about this show that
you’re doing, Jerry’s doing, “Stand-up and Away
with Brian Regan”? What is the new show? -I wanted to do a show
that’s a sketch show but that the sketches are
set up by stand-up bits, some of the older stand-up bits
that I’ve done. So I do those, and those
lead into sketches. So, I pitched that idea to him, and he goes,
“All right, let’s do it.” -So, this thing —
So, maybe set up this clip. This is a clip.
This is you at a restaurant? -Yeah. This clip actually
comes from when I was living here
in New York City. You know when you
go to a restaurant, and all the tables
are incredibly close together? -Yeah. -And they sit you down,
and, sometimes, you are literally physically
closer to some stranger than you are to your date. And it’s very hard to keep
the conversations separate. So, this is a sketch where
I’m having, like, a little intimate argument
with my girlfriend, and right next to us are two
guys planning an armed heist. -Here it is. “Stand-up and Away with
Brian Regan” streams Christmas Eve
on Netflix. Check this out. -What do you mean by
“take care of the guard”? I thought this was gonna be
a simple smash-and-grab. -Oh, you thought, huh?
Do me a favor? Don’t think. I’ll do the thinking. -It’s our one-year anniversary
of our first text conversation. Tomorrow is our
one-year anniversary of the first time we FaceTimed. -She knew all those. -That’s ridiculous.
This broad is high-maintenance. I mean, it’s too chilly? She’s hurt because he doesn’t
know what she drinks? -The broad’s a little needy. -I’m sorry I forgot
the anniversary of our first text conversation. -Don’t backpedal. That’s weak.
Tell her she’s being ridiculous. -She’s not being ridiculous. He’s the one
that’s being ridiculous. -I’m being ridiculous? You don’t have a driver set, and it’s going down
tomorrow night? -Exactly. -Show ’em how it’s done! Show ’em how it’s done!
Brian Regan! -Thank you very much. -His new show,
“Stand-up and Away,” streams on Netflix
starting Christmas Eve.