Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton Debate Cold Open – SNL


♪♪♪
>>>GOOD EVENING. FROM HOFSTRA UNIVERSITY, I’M
LESTER HOLT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND WELCOME TO THE FIRST PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE.
A QUICK REMINDER FOR OUR AUDIENCE, THERE IS NO CHEERING,
NO CLAPPING, AND TO THE TRUMP SUPPORTERS, NO SHIRT NO SHOES,
NO SERVICE. NOW LET’S BRING OUT THE
CANDIDATES. FIRST SHE’S BEEN BATTLING
PNEUMONIA AND WE HOPE SHE’S FEELING BETTER TONIGHT.
IT’S SECRETARY HILLARY CLINTON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>I’M BETTER THAN EVER, LET’S DO THIS!
>>AND FINALLY, HE’S THE MAN TO BLAME FOR THE BOTTOM HALF OF ALL
HIS KIDS’ FACES. IT’S REPUBLICAN NOMINEE DONALD
TRUMP! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>GOOD EVENING, AMERICA. I AM GOING TO BE SO GOOD
TONIGHT. I AM GOING TO BE SO CALM AND SO
PRESIDENTIAL THAT ALL OF YOU WATCHING ARE GOING TO CREAM YOUR
JEANS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>SECRETARY CLINTON, LET’S BEGIN WITH YOU.
WHY ARE YOU A BETTER CHOICE THAN YOUR OPPONENT TO CREATE JOBS AND
PUT MONEY INTO THE POCKETS OF AMERICAN WORKERS?
>>WELL, LESTER, MY OPPONENT’S TAX PLAN BENEFITS THE TOP 1% SO
MUCH, IT’S NOT JUST TRICKLE-DOWN ECONOMICS, IT’S — I DON’T KNOW,
I GUESS IF I HAD TO CALL IT SOMETHING OFF THE TOP OF THE OLD
DOME, WITH NO PREP WHATSOEVER, I DON’T KNOW, I GUESS I’D CALL IT
TRUMPED-UP, TRICKLE-DOWN ECONOMICS.
>>THAT’S VERY CATCHY, SECRETARY.
YOU JUST CAME UP WITH THAT JUST NOW?
>>I DID, RIGHT OFF THE STIFF RED CUFF.
>>SAY, JAZZMAN. I’VE GOT A VERY PRESIDENTIAL
ANSWER FOR THIS. OUR JOBS ARE FLEEING THIS
COUNTRY. THEY’RE GOING TO MEXICO, THEY’RE
GOING TO JI-NA. I’D STOP THAT.
IF HILLARY KNEW HOW SHE WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY, END OF
STORY. I WON THE DEBATE, I STAYED CALM
JUST LIKE I PROMISED, AND IT IS OVER.
GOOD NIGHT, HOFSTRA.>>DONALD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] DONALD, THERE’S STILL 88 MINUTES
LEFT. IT’S A 90-MINUTE DEBATE.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>MY MICROPHONE IS BROKEN.
SHE BROKE IT. WITH OBAMA.
SHE AND OBAMA STOLE MY MICROPHONE.
THEY TOOK MY MICROPHONE TO KENYA AND THEY BROKE IT AND NOW IT’S
BROKEN. DO YOU HEAR THAT?
SOMEBODY’S SNIFFING HERE. I THINK IT’S HER SNIFFS.
SHE’S BEEN SNIFFING ALL NIGHT. TESTING, TESTING.
JI-NA, JI-NA. YUGE, JI-NA.
>>SECRETARY CLINTON, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
>>I THINK I’M GOING TO BE PRESIDENT.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I MEAN, THIS MAN IS CLEARLY UNFIT TO BE COMMANDER IN CHIEF.
>>WRONG.>>HE IS A BULLY.
>>SHUT UP.>>HE STARTED THE BIRTHER
MOVEMENT.>>YOU DID.
>>HE SAID CLIMATE CHANGE IS A HOAX INVENTED BY CHINA.
>>IT’S PRONOUNCED JI-NA.>>HE HASN’T RELEASED HI TAX
RETURNS WHICH MEANS HE’S EITHER NOT THAT RICH.
>>WRONG.>>NOT THAT CHARITABLE.
>>WRONG.>>OR HE’S NOT PAID TAXES IN HIS
LIFE.>>WRONGER.
>>LET’S MOVE ON TO NATIONAL SECURITY.
MR. TRUMP, YOU’VE CRITICIZED SECRETARY CLINTON FOR VOTING FOR
THE IRAQ WAR, BUT YOU YOURSELF SUPPORTED THE WAR —
>>WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. YOU’RE BEING VERY MEAN TO ME
TONIGHT, COLTRANE, VERY MEAN. I WAS AGAINST THE WAR, NAME
ANYONE IN THE WORLD NAMED SEAN HANNITY.
I TOLD SEAN HANNITY, CALL SEAN HANNITY.
>>YOU TOLD SEAN HANNITY ON HIS SHOW AND THERE’S PROOF?
>>I TOLD HIM IN PRIVATE. ME AND SEAN LATE AT NIGHT.
I LEANED OVER AND WHISPERED IN HIS EAR, SEAN, I’M AGAINST THE
WAR IN IRAQ. HE WHISPERED IN MY EAR, I’M
AGAINST THE WAR TOO. NEXT THING I KNEW, WAY KISSING
SEAN HANNITY.>>MOVING RIGHT PAST THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] THE IRAQ WAR IS ALL ABOUT
JUDGMENT. SECRETARY CLINTON, DO YOU THINK
YOU HAVE BETTER JUDGMENT THAN MR. TRUMP?
>>HA HA, YES, YES. YES.
OF COURSE I DO. DONALD TRUMP HAS TERRIBLE
JUDGMENT. HE MAKES BAD DECISIONS.
HE SPENDS HIS LIFE CHEATING MIDDLE-CLASS LABORERS.
LABORERS LIKE MY OWN HUMAN FATHER.
WHO MADE — I GUESS DRAPES OR PRINTED DRAPES OR SOLD DRAPES
OR — AND HE WAS RELATABLE, AND I AM ALSO RELATABLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>MR. TRUMP, SAME QUESTION.
WHY IS YOUR JUDGMENT BETTER THAN SECRETARY CLINTON’S?
>>BECAUSE IT IS. I HAVE THE BEST JUDGMENT.
AND THE BEST TEMPERAMENT. SHE’S THE ONE WITH THE BAD
TEMPERAMENT. SHE’S ALWAYS SCREAMING.
SHE’S CONSTANTLY LYING. HER HAIR IS CRAZY.
HER HASE IS COMPLETELY ORANGE. EXCEPT AROUND THE EYES WHERE
IT’S WHITE. ONCE SHE STOPS TALKING HER MOUTH
LOOKS LIKE A TINY LITTLE BUTTHOLE.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>SECRETARY CLINTON, YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES TO RESPOND.
>>OH, THAT’S OKAY. HE CAN HAVE MY TWO MINUTES.
>>OKAY, MR. TRUMP, TWO MORE MINUTES.
>>THE THING ABOUT THE BLACKS. [ LAUGHTER ]
IS THAT THEY’RE KILLING EACH OTHER.
[ LAUGHTER ] ALL THE BLACKS LIVE ON ONE
STREET IN CHICAGO. ALL ON ONE STREET.
IT’S CALLED HELL STREET. AND THEY’RE ON HELL STREET AND
THEY’RE ALL JUST KILLING EACH OTHER.
JUST LIKE I AM KILLING THIS DEBATE.
>>SECRETARY CLINTON, DID YOU HAVE A RESPONSE?
>>UM — [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] NOT A — NOT A RESPONSE, MORE OF
A REQUEST. CAN AMERICA VOTE RIGHT NOW?
[ LAUGHTER ]>>WELL, THIS HAS HAS BEEN AN
ILLUMINATING DEBATE. BUT NOW IT’S TIME FOR OUR
FINAL –>>ALICIA MACHADO.
>>I’M SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT? WHO IS ALICIA MACHADO?
>>THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THAT UP, LESTER.
[ LAUGHTER ] SHE IS A STRONG, BEAUTIFUL,
POLITICAL PROP THAT I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION TONIGHT, EVEN
THOUGH WE ALREADY MADE A WEB VIDEO ABOUT HER.
ALICIA MACHADO WAS MISS UNIVERSE IN 1996.
>>WHERE’D YOU FIND THIS?>>AND DONALD TRUMP CALLS HER
MISS PIGGY.>>HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?
>>AND MISS HOUSEKEEPING.>>THAT’S PRETTY FUNNY.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>MR. TRUMP, YOUR RESPONSE?
>>LESTER, WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS WOMAN?
WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT THE IMPORTANT ISSUES, LIKE ROSIE
O’DONNELL. AND HOW SHE’S A FAT LOSER.
EVERYONE AGREES WITH ME AND I WANTED TO BRING THAT UP IN A
PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE RIGHT AT THE END, MY OWN VOLITION, GOOD IDEA,
I DID IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>SECRETARY CLINTON, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
>>I — I’M SORRY, LESTER. THIS IS GOING SO WELL.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT’S GOING EXACTLY HOW I’D
ALWAYS DREAMED.>>OKAY.
NOW IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON TO THE CLOSING STATEMENTS.
SECRETARY CLINTON, YOU’RE FIRST.>>LISTEN, AMERICA.
I GET IT. YOU HATE ME.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU HATE MY VOICE.
AND YOU HATE MY FACE. WELL, HERE’S A TIP.
IF YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE MY FACE AGAIN, ELECT ME PRESIDENT, AND I
SWEAR TO GOD I WILL LOCK MYSELF IN THE OVAL OFFICE AND NOT COME
OUT FOR FOUR YEARS. BUT IF YOU DON’T ELECT ME, I
WILL CONTINUE TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT UNTIL THE DAY I DIE.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I WILL NEVER DIE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>MR. TRUMP.
FINAL REMARKS.>>YOU KNOW WHAT, LESTER?
I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING EXTREMELY ROUGH TO HILLARY
TONIGHT. BUT I SAID TO MYSELF, I CAN’T DO
IT, I JUST CAN’T DO IT. BUT IF I HAD SAID IT IT WOULD
HAVE BEEN A NUCLEAR BOMB. BECAUSE IN THE ’90s, OUR
PRESIDENT WAS A MAN NAMED BILL CLINTON.
NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW THIS, BUT THAT MAN IS HER HUSBAND.
[ LAUGHTER ] IN 1998, GET THIS, HE HAD AN
AFFAIR. IT’S TRUE.
MY INVESTIGATORS ARE LOOKING INTO IT RIGHT NOW.
IT WAS A WOMAN, IT WAS A WOMAN NAMED MONICA.
VERY HEAVY. I DON’T HAVE HER LAST NAME YET
BUT WHEN I GET IT, I’M GOING TO SET MY ALARM FOR 3:20 A.M. AND
GO SIT ON MY GOLDEN TOILET BOWL AND TWEET ABOUT IT UNTIL
COMPLETION. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>OH MY GOD. JUST TO REMIND EVERYBODY AT
HOME, THIS WAS A PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE.
ANY FINAL WORDS?>>LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S
SATURDAY NIGHT!

100 comments

  • Wodnil Hedivad

    Its a lot funnier considering how things turned out. Jokes on you SNL.

    Reply
  • WeDontThink

    And…. I'm sorry… Who lost???

    Reply
  • SportDiver 2

    Hilary is a HUGE GINA !

    Reply
  • RealMedia Shockwave

    I remember when SNL was Funny..But they can't Compete with the DNC…If they were smart they would hire the cast of Democrat Clowns who have stole the show..But nope..they keep using the same ole non funny nobodies..

    Reply
  • RealMedia Shockwave

    what is more funny..is Democrats actually had that attitude that this fake Hillary has here..and they lost bigly..They thought they had it won..and lost huge..now thats funny..

    Reply
  • tomas fabbro

    It is not goverment's job to "create" jobs. This idea has caused so much misery.

    Reply
  • tomas fabbro

    He was not for the war, He said I guess.

    Reply
  • Ann M.

    SNL used to be funny.

    Reply
  • Rahul Bhoir

    We really need a better class of Politicians

    Reply
  • Tanthien Nguyen

    Wenn falsche Tick…Werden Automatisch Uhrwerk nicht Garantieren geben können…………

    Reply
  • Tanthien Nguyen

    Dann werden der nächste Jähren wieder korrekieren…….

    Reply
  • Tanthien Nguyen

    Aber Banksystem & Regierungsystem um Kindern nicht Zerstören können…….

    Reply
  • Tanthien Nguyen

    Was sagen Sie 1% noch Überigen………?

    Reply
  • Tanthien Nguyen

    Unbelieveble…….Unglaublich…..Nur 1%,,,,,,,,,,

    Reply
  • Tanthien Nguyen

    Fragen Sie es nicht…..Wie lang war ich in Saigon……Wie viele Bücher habe ich gehabt……….?

    Reply
  • Tanthien Nguyen

    Fragen Sie es nicht ob ich es Hunger haben…….?

    Reply
  • DerickE

    Trump = The collective total of American IQ.

    Reply
  • Kent Graham

    Simple and dishonest hearts still argue that his flaws somehow excuse her corruption.

    Reply
  • Joe Schmoe

    And.. Trump won the election because of smugness like this.

    Reply
  • ThePulverizer8

    Jokes on them He won

    Reply
  • Daniel Robledo

    Saturday Night Live got it wrong along with the rest of Hollywood & Media. What fools.

    Reply
  • Tucker Gibbons

    The Trump impression is extremely inaccurate.

    Reply
  • moguns1971

    Was he really far off after he said the blacks and the chicago situation with the gang shootings and the local gov and law enforcement seem overwhelmed

    Reply
  • Lisa

    This is so accurate. It's unfathomable how so many people voted for Trump. An ignorant sexist bullying ass…hooaalle.

    Reply
  • Steven Johnson

    Loser little Skit. And then they Cried.

    Reply
  • John Not

    3:19

    Reply
  • Jon A.

    Who's the white dude in black face playing lester holt???

    Reply
  • Truth Alone Triumphs

    CRAP

    Reply
  • ManexCorp

    3:18 Well that didn't age well … ROFL

    Reply
  • MatrixBoi P.P

    This is so beautiful to watch. SNL just casually trying to sway an election with their bias.

    Reply
  • EarthquakeStar

    Seriously, Kate McKinnon for President LoL

    Reply
  • An-T M

    Baldwin's pretty bad. Best gig he could get?

    Reply
  • kittyface27

    #impeachmentparty

    Reply
  • Sydthewiz006

    “Wrong”
    “Wrong”
    “Warmer”

    Reply
  • Sydthewiz006

    “The thing about the blacks….”
    Eyes widen

    Reply
  • Sydthewiz006

    Starts crying
    “This has always been my dream”

    Reply
  • realomon

    00:03:18 "I think, I am gonna be president" – Nope 😉

    Reply
  • Steve Davis

    Hillary read my lips, You will never be President

    Reply
  • Greg ######

    MAGA…2020…..Redo….Like she said..she will run till the day she dies…

    Reply
  • Teliki Mouse

    My microphone is broken XD

    Reply
  • Jareth The Goblin King

    I rather vote for Kate's Clinton rather than the actual one

    Reply
  • Chris 2000

    This was the ultimate, shiniest of 2 turds…we chose the wrong turd

    Reply
  • BearXBunny

    The reason he won is cuz there was only one other choice and at the time he seemed like the better one (crazy, I know) BUT NOT THIS YEAR!!! Latta loosa, this country will be getting the Bern baby!!!

    Reply
  • BearXBunny

    I CAN'T WAIT TIL THIS IS BERNIE ON THE OTHER SIDE!!! Trump will be doa after the first debate GUARANTEED!!!

    Reply
  • SP

    The funny thing is everything Trump warned about is happening

    Reply
  • Lucy

    I'm so glad I fell out of love with Hillary. She can't win an election to save her life and I would have been extremely dissapointed that she lost AGAIN. Just like she lost to Obama in 2008. These were 2 elections that she should have won. She barely made it past the primary against Bernie Sanders. But she was so entitled and cocky thinking she couldn't lose this time. She got what she deserved. Trump won

    Reply
  • namio the 5th

    Watching this while trump is being impeached, my has it been crazy

    Reply
  • Theresa Gray

    Wow Hilary got a facelift and has lost weight too😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

    Reply
  • Kyler Broden

    Wow…. Not Funny at all😐

    Reply
  • nymphetaminedisposed

    Welp it's that time again in politics and yes I'm still lmao at this sketch😂😂😂

    Reply
  • David R. Davidson

    "Cream your jeans…"
    "Jyna…jyna…jyna…"
    "I think I'm gonna be President…"
    "…and for Trump Supporters; no shoes, no shirt, no service…"

    I'm dead! 💀😭😜😊😀 LMFAO & then some!

    Some of the best lines.

    Reply
  • nikchurch4

    Ha. Somehow Trump won. Even after 3 years. Dems need to find a better candidate or they will lose again. Funny thing is my son is 8 and he heard this without even seeing this video and asked if this was Trump being weird. Nice work Alec Baldwin.

    Reply
  • Steve Vaughn

    And… She still lost to that… lol

    Reply
  • Dan Daniels

    yep it's funny but I'm laughing louder now.

    Reply
  • Wildan

    Kate McKinnon is waaay too hot to portray Hillary.

    Reply
  • Barky Von Schnauzer

    Oh boy! how they tried to sell killary to the American people as the winner. ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha

    Reply
  • UnderprivilegedFilmFan

    Coming back to this after the possible Impeachment route things might be going to remember the good ol’ days.

    Reply
  • megan

    truly one of the ELITES

    Reply
  • William Knox

    Alec Baldwin's Trump impersonation is straight trash, Darrel Hammond did it best imo. And btw wtf is Alec Baldwin acting like he's not Trump in real life, you hear him in interviews speaking arrogantly and all dramatic. I will say it's great to see the parody of Hillary's smugness, especially after she ended up loosing.

    Reply
  • mohcen Bdj

    Kate mckinnon is so sexy

    Reply
  • Arnold Stollar

    Great film and funny.

    Reply
  • Hoppin Ass Horse Pip

    JUST LOOK AT HOW HE BEHAVES!! SHOULDVE PUT HILLARY IN THE OFFICE.

    Reply
  • Hoppin Ass Horse Pip

    HE CALLED HIM JAZZ MAN!!! Everyone keeps asking "show one time of him being racist/racing and OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT.

    Reply
  • 100 subscribers challenge

    MAGA 2020 MAKE LIBERALS CRY AGAIN

    Reply
  • sddallas

    I forget. Who won? Typical skit by filthy, scummy, jewish writers

    Reply
  • Darla Danes

    Wow Hillary’s LIT 🔥 she’s so pretty

    Reply
  • Lily Potter

    The thing about the blacks is THERE KILLING EACH OTHER
    right in front

    Of a black man

    Reply
  • WanderLust Endumado

    And all that time Russia was helping him win… Insanity.

    Reply
  • News Media-one

    9:20 lol

    Reply
  • Blade Man

    This is still funny as hell in 2019 but wow they were wrong!

    Reply
  • Steve Dannely for Yang

    We're still watching the greatest moment in American history: Trump winning.

    Reply
  • dieter006us

    clinton should be shot!!!!💥💥💥💥👍🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

    Reply
  • Itchy Goober

    I remember when these presidential skits were funnier. Even though it's a skit you can tell they were pandering to Hilary. It use to be more about the jokes

    Reply
  • Wydever Valkyrie

    Trump 2020

    Reply
  • Paula H

    I bet Hillary watches him on tv nowadays and hates herself saying "I lost to this guy!?"

    Reply
  • idesofmarchUNIAEA

    5:05 using history as a metric, it would appear that Donald Trump, did in fact have better judgment.

    Not going to states to campaign,was a gross miss judgment. Insulting Half the country with descriptions such as deplorable‘s, home clutching their Bibles and their guns, etc.

    The cost for insulting middle America, minimal.

    The look on your face when you LOST,

    PRICELESS!!!

    Let’s try again, shall we?

    Reply
  • idesofmarchUNIAEA

    5:25 history has proven President Trump correct. No new wars. Meetings with the North Korean dictator, etc.

    October 1992 C-SPAN, New York City, in between the columns of Federal Hall in lower Manhattan.Then Mrs. Clinton, cursed out of C-SPAN camera op. She realize she was live, her demeanor changed immediately. I wonder why? Can you find a copy of that tape? It must’ve gone the way of the 45 dead bodies. Three gunshots to the back of the head, deemed a suicide. State corporate media hasn’t given time to the women she abused and threatened, who her husband raped. We are told to listen to all women, unless they are one of bills victims.

    Reply
  • xela383

    This is just depressing now.

    Reply
  • jimmy jimmy

    FUCK NBC AND SNL

    Reply
  • What’s Viral

    2019 ANYONE?

    Reply
  • Br Ad

    This is funny. But even funnier, people actually thought she would and should win… And even better that that, he won.
    Trump 2020
    🙂

    Reply
  • Phoenixesper1

    If only they knew the eventual outcome….

    Reply
  • Mariam Kalandadze

    This is still hilarious even though Donald won

    Reply
  • one estate

    Yuuuuge Gina 😂😂 i love Trump

    Reply
  • siasti

    This version of Hiillary can sit on my face a long as she wants!

    Reply
  • Job Bellamy

    “I think I’m gonna be president”
    Big oof
    That one Hurt

    Reply
  • arv4572

    3:17 THAT JOKE AGED SO BAD

    Reply
  • Furah Xantras

    "my own human father"the real best bit

    Reply
  • Tim

    Satan's imps / kids hate The Don,,,who is playing God's Trump Card….. the imps are foaming at the mouth……..hahahahahahahahaha

    Reply
  • Marq Hill

    Man… these are hard to watch now…

    Reply
  • Mr. fearless

    Fuuuuck TRUMP

    Reply
  • TheSmartLawyer

    Justice prevails as the people have spoken

    Reply
  • Mochamad Farid

    😁😃😂

    Reply
  • Urbanite Urbanizer

    Watching this in 2019 it is so eerie.. All that Hillary said about him has come true. And Trump's erratic behaviour in the past few weeks since impeachment talk makes Alex Baldwin's Trump look like an amateur.

    Reply
  • James West

    Hillary wishes she looked that good.

    Reply
  • a duck

    ahhhh willie wonka reference

    Reply
  • D R

    Weird how Trump did bring all those jobs back

    Reply
  • David Powell

    I still blame Hillary and the DNC………………

    Reply
  • GeoGal TwoThousandFive

    make another one in one year! so close, its almost over…

    Reply
  • Frankie JO

    Its been the BEST 4 years of laughing at trump followers, they just don't get how pathetic they are!

    Reply

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