Draw My Life: Part 2

– [Phil] Hey guys, I’m back with a whiteboard and zero drawing skills and six years after the first
Draw My Life, I’m still alive. So, I might as well keep going. We left things in 2013
when little did I know, I was about to go on a
life changing adventure I never dreamed would happen. I’m attempting to draw myself riding on a unicorn into the sunset here. Is that a metaphor? Is the unicorn YouTube? I don’t know and you may think you know the
story but I’m gonna hit you with all the behind the scenes juice. Juice? That doesn’t gross sorry. Also, if I could edit the
last one and just add in p.s I was gay (chuckles)
I would but more on that later. So, I just moved to London with Dan. Very exciting but also five times more expensive than Manchester. That’s the queen taking our money. It’s kinda terrifying sorry. It was so pricey, we had to take a risk on this weird Internet job and spend our entire life
savings on a year of rent and if that didn’t result in
us having some kind of career, we’d both have to say oh well, we tried and move back in with our parents with literally zero
money and a student loan. So like negative a lot. Thankfully, we just landed
a show on BBC Radio One which was such a huge deal. Not only were we the first
people from the Internet to get a show with the BBC but our show was super
ambitious, incredibly fun but also very anxiety inducing. I’m proud of a lot of that work we did as I think we were really good at it but boy, did we get
thrown in the deep end. The producers wanted me to learn to press all the buttons
to operate the show whilst speaking fluently and
choosing texts from viewers but the radio desk looked
like a fricking spaceship. You’ve never seen so many buttons and if you’ve seen me try
and walk in a straight line, my brain and body aren’t
good at coordinating. So, one time I fully
pressed the wrong button and the whole show got thrown
off the air for over a minute. It was literal cricket
noises on the radio. That was the longest minute of my life. Thankfully, we didn’t get fired and they let Dan take control
of the buttons from then on, wise decision and I
relaxed a bit on the radio. I don’t regret any of this but it did age me by about five years. A few months later, I hit one million subscribers on YouTube. Woo! That was such a huge milestone for me as it showed this thing I’d been doing since 2006 had fully taken off. I made the decision that
this was my life now. I was a full time Internet entertainer. Internet entertainer? Inten, enten, intertainer,
enternet, I don’t know. The radio show continued
to get bigger and better. We were doing cool things like
interviewing Fall Out Boy. Okay.
(laughs) This is meant to be Fall Out Boy. I don’t know what’s happening. That’s meant to be a guitar. That is not a guitar. Oh my God, how do you draw a guitar? What does a guitar look like? You know where I’m getting at and we even got an agent. Okay, that’s a secret
agent but you get the idea, who got us even more jobs. It’s funny though, I never dreamed of being a presenter when I was a kid and not having much money at the time, I thought this was my opportunity
to say yes to everything. Literally whenever something
came into the inbox, I was like yup without
considering what that would entail or how much time it would take. Phil, do you wanna present
at this film premiere? Yup. A YouTube spon? Yeah. Brit Awards? Sign me up. Phil, go push past this crowd
of people and grab Ed Sheeran on the red carpet even
though he looks super busy. Okay. Stand on stage at this
festival and introduce Imagine Dragons without
a working microphone. Yee. A week long outdoor shoot
in exchange for exposure? Sure. Just let me tickle you
and buy you a channel. Ye… oh, oh I said no to that one. My anxiety around this time got really bad as I was juggling too much. I was working so hard, I
wasn’t getting any sleep and I was worrying about not getting anything done the next day. That’s me juggling responsibilities which look a bit like a lemon apparently. Is this some kind metaphor about life and lemons here, I don’t know. During this exciting work
tornado, something else happened as a bolt from the blue
that really shook me. I had a phone call that
I needed to come home as there was news about my dad’s health. I was asking what it was but they just told me to
come home and talk about it. I knew it would be cancer
before they even told me really. Why wouldn’t they just tell
me on the phone otherwise. It turned out that my dad had a very rare form of blood cancer. Though we never used the
C word much in our house, he was so upbeat and
determined to fight it, you’d think he was just suffering with a bad cold or something. He was really sick for over
a year and had to have chemo and a full stem cell
transplant in isolation which can be pretty dangerous in itself. I did give him my Netflix though. It was so hard to deal with this while doing so much work
in front of a camera. I was conflicted too as
obviously I wanted to drop everything and move back home but he said it would be better if I continued doing these
amazing things in London and that would be more of a boost than if I was just
moping around the house. So factoring in a lot of
visits, I stayed in London and thankfully, he started to get better. He was given an experimental
drug and it’s really working as he’s still in remission
five years later. I’ve never mentioned
this since I don’t really talk about much personal stuff on YouTube and my dad’s quite a private person but he let me tell you guys. Now he’s feeling great and
he’s enjoying retired life with my mum and watching
my anime recommendations. Yeah, my dad watches anime. Okay, I know I’m meant to be just drawing but seriously, look how cute they are. I can’t. Dan and I started to
realize around this time that while we were getting
lots of jobs doing other stuff, that the Internet was the future and really, some of these
people that we worked for were getting more from us
than we were from them. After some experiences
of doing some things out of obligation rather than passion and not being able to fully
create things how we wanted to, we knew it was time for a change. To fully focus on realizing these dreams, we decided to stop doing the
radio show and all other stuff and put everything we
had into the Internet. We got a new team that was
more about the Internet than TV and this is when we started to dream big. To celebrate this whole
Dan and Phil thing going on and all the jokes and stories
we shared with our audience, we decided to make a Dan and Phil book and not just a regular book, of course we had to do something special and unique but a creative explosion of
stories and photos and drawings and games that we felt
perfectly represented us and this felt like the
perfect moment to go on tour and see the viewers that had
supported us in real life. This came at a weird time
as people were super cynical about YouTubers doing projects, no! Which made us sad as we were
genuinely passionate about it and for me, telling
stories and being funny and inventing games was
what made me the happiest. I just wanted people to give us a chance and realize that what we
were doing was all us, had 100% of our effort behind
it and was actually great. Neither of us realized
how hard this would be as we decided we were doing
everything our way now. No one was telling us what to do or what to change, which was great but that meant we had
to make every decision and when booking a whole world tour, let’s just say for us and our new team, there was a lot of office
work we didn’t sign up for. This was an experience
that made us realize even if we knew the
Internet was a big deal, most of the world didn’t
take it seriously. There were so many theaters
that wouldn’t let us hire them as they didn’t know what a YouTuber was and they just thought no one would turn up which was frustrating
as them not getting it meant there were places
that we couldn’t go and as the first YouTubers
to do a tour this big, we basically had to
break the ice ourselves to let everyone come through. So over this
(laughs) weird human boat analogy,
but you get the idea. In a way, this was scary and it felt like when we first moved to London again especially as we put all our
savings into this stage show, even the money from the book. So if it didn’t work out,
we’d be doomed again. Doomed. I’ve never been as nervous as
the day the books were sent out into the world and we
hopped in a van to go on tour. Would people like the
things as much as we did? Was it all worth the risk? Or have we just destroyed everything? Thankfully, someone did buy a ticket. In fact, 100000 people did and the book was a number one bestseller. We couldn’t believe it, we
were so happy and relieved and the fact that we
were doing it our own way and it was all a celebration of this world of Dan and Phil on YouTube,
made it extra special. The fact that I actually
went on huge stages around the world was an
insane experience for me as other than a couple of conventions, I’ve always been a bit of a shy person, preferring small groups
to huge social events but as I was so proud
of this show we’d made, the shyness completely disappeared. The audience were so encouraging and everyone just felt
like a group of friends and despite yee-ting myself
off the stage in Florida, it went pretty much perfectly. It also really affected
me meeting so many of you and hearing the stories of how my videos have brightened up your days or got you through the hard times or sometimes even really inspired people that related to my life which made me realize how special this was even if I didn’t know it. This looks like a happy hill.
(laughs) I don’t know, I was
trying to be sentimental and I ruined it with the drawing. We had to do some press to
promote the book and the tour which was my first proper
experience with that world and it was a back sweat
inducing experience cause not only was I an awkward nerd, but I was still publicly and to my extended family in the closet and I felt like a few of the reporters just wanted to talk about
dating and sexuality and half of the questions were about liking girls or hot female celebrities. I don’t know what hot female celebrities I just drew by the way. They were also still obsessed
with the fact that a YouTuber was even a job and all
they cared about was money. We wanted to talk about
how amazing the story of our journey is and how exciting our show was with its crazy creative story but they were just like,
someone has a job on Internet, cat videos make money, what is this? One time I ended up in a super awkward photo shoot experience where they made me balance
my legs on a disco ball in tight jeans as the
photographer sat on the floor and shot the photo from
a crotch perspective and asked me to look more sensual. No thanks. Thankfully, the press
is way different in 2019 as at least some of the
people working for magazines and websites actually
understand the Internet now and are more interested in
talking about what matters. You know side note, I’m
really enjoying drawing. I haven’t drawn anything in ages. Here is a seal with wheels, concept. Okay, sorry, where was I? As if we weren’t doing
enough, come on guys, we felt like we wanted
something else on the side. So we decided to combine
our passions for YouTube and sitting on the couch shouting at each other playing video games and made a gaming channel. I think our Sims series
was the biggest hit. We created Dil Howlter and living out his disastrous but weirdly relatable life was some of the most fun I’ve
had on YouTube or a game. We never realized how
much work it would be because I think it’s normal
for most gaming YouTubers to just upload a one take recording while for us, we wanted to make it like a traditional YouTube video
with zooms and effects and a million edits to
make the gaming videos as good as a regular one. Even though we had so much fun filming it, we sometimes bit off
more than we could chew, like deciding to do a video every day leading up to Christmas
one year had us awake until four a.m most nights of December
including Christmas Eve. I liked to think that Undertale
Let’s Play was worth it. Sorry and thanks for that Dan. This TATINOF era of life
lasted for basically two years and when we finally returned from the war, our lives felt totally different. We had certain priorities
at this point like moving out of our first London apartment that had an actual gas leak. Seriously, how didn’t we die? And then the big question of what’s next? Well not to be doom and gloom, I don’t wanna bust out the sad music but 2017 was very sad and
death heavy in my family. We lost my grandma and my
aunty in the same month. I didn’t really talk about
it online at the time as I wanted my online presence
to be something you guys can come to, to forget your worries
rather than taking on mine. While this was all going on,
it made it harder as on the outside, it just looked like I
wasn’t planning anything new, when in fact I was trying to
work on stuff at the same time. When you’re working on
something, you don’t wanna be annoying and be like, secret
project coming in three months. It’s better to wait
until you have something interesting to share or just Beyonce it. The problem is, when you
suddenly announce it, some people will think it
was just an easy breezy task that just magically appeared. It is never a breezy task. This made me realize that people
only know what’s happening in your life if you’re
talking about it online as they’re so many daily
vloggers and people that share the most intimate
juices of their life. Sorry for saying juices again and seeing everything in that person’s life is totally normal. So when I’m keeping what I’m going through or working on in private, it can seem from the outside
like nothing’s happening at all and sometimes I wish people knew that I was having a hard time with my family or overwhelmed with work. One time we spent ages
planning a Dan and Phil travel series that we
spent months working on. We had a whole crew assembled, we pitched it to people
and it was ready to go, when the people that commissioned it said their plans had changed and
we’d have to wait a year to film it, which totally
clashed with all our other plans and we just had to let it go. So yeah, I guess there
is more to life than what someone’s posting on social media and you never really know what someone is going through or
what they’re working on. Whilst this year was hard in many ways, I was still very thankful
for the good fortune and having these opportunities at all because two of those secret projects did make it into the world. Most amusingly, Truth Bombs which came from a party game
I’d made my friends play on pieces of paper when
we were hanging out and it became a real board game
you could buy in the shops. This was one of those things that took months of planning
and designing and testing but the fact that my silly
paper party game is now enjoyed by so many people all over the
world is unbelievable to me. Also, sorry if you play it and
you ruin your relationships. Around this time, Dan and I
working with my brother Martin, also started our first
business, IRL Merch. That shook the camera like we were celebrating that we’d made it. Martin knew everything about making websites and online shopping and as two people that love a good fandom and spending all our money
on Game of Thrones mugs, Dan and I thought YouTuber merch could be so much better than just a basic t-shirt. So after making our own Dan and Phil shop, we wanted to help other
YouTubers make their own snazzy websites and realize
their dreams with really cool stuff like plushies and
candles and backpacks and more. This business went from
my brother’s laptop to having actual employees and an office and a warehouse as part
of a worldwide team making incredible things for creators. So thanks for that idea bro and not only is Martin amazing at the job but I love that I get to spend
so much time with my brother and drag him into this
weird world with me. P.s cheeky spon. I have some space themed
merch at the moment so you should grab some if
anything tickles your fancy. So much has happened, I feel like I’ve probably forgot loads
of the important things. We made an app. We had a cameo in a Disney
movie that won an Oscar. I only had one line but I like to think it was based on my performance. That’s my acting voice apparently and now we started to think
about the rest of our lives. Not that the end of our
lives was coming up soon. Sorry, that sounded dramatic. I meant that in an exciting, what is my dream in life kind of way. I had unfinished business though. This Dan and Phil thing meant
so much to so many people and whilst our first tour
was huge, there was loads of people around the world
that never got to see us. So we decided before anything
else, in one massive quest we would try and go to as
many countries in the world that would actually let us in. Thankfully this time round,
everyone knew what a YouTuber was, so we booked shows everywhere
from Helsinki to Mumbai. There was still a couple of countries that didn’t wanna let us in, probably cause Dan’s face is so suspicious and we thought hey, if
this tour is just about giving the audience what they want, then we should make the
whole thing interactive and so Interactive Introverts was born. By this time, we thought
the show was so good, we decided hey, why not just
go back to all the places we went on the first
tour so no one misses out and it was a tour on a tour on a tour. It was a giga-tour and thus we began our seven month Hobbit There and Back Again adventure doing 80 shows without
coming home for months. I could honestly do an entire
video just about this Summer, so get the DVD, it has a
two hour commentary on it. Much more important though, sometime in the middle, I
snipped off my emo fringe. As despite everyone loving it and it being in all the photos
promoting the show, oops, I decided it was what I wanted. So I went and bloody did it. I even got a pair of ripped jeans, big character progression. It wasn’t all sunshine
literally, we had to do a show with no electricity, #DanAndPhilUnplugged. We narrowly avoided a typhoon and we had some big issues
getting into Manila, which cost so much we
actually ended up spending our own money in Asia
rather than making any. But it was a grand
adventure and we achieved what we set out to do to see
as many of you as possible and have a great time
which made it all worth it. We got home and we were actual zombies as you could probably
see in the mukbang video. This is a terrifying drawing, I don’t know what I was thinking. I actually think we might
have pushed ourselves slightly too far with this one as I felt like I had unlimited energy but it’s not until you stop, you realize your body
needs to fully hibernate. We didn’t exactly rest. We spent three weeks
editing the DVD of our show which involved watching one performance thousands of times like a never ending Groundhog Day nightmare, that was also ironically
one of the most fun and proud days of our careers. So by the time Christmas
arrived and another gaming mis-ending in an
elderly Sims retirement, I also felt ready to crawl
into a cave like a bear and not talk to anyone for two months unless they were offering
me food obviously. So, if you’ve been paying attention, hey, get back to this tab. Don’t you like my beautiful art? You might have realized that this chapter of Draw My Life has been
incredibly work related. Where’s all my fun stories about the things in the rest of my life? Well, turns out I don’t really have one. Obviously this career’s
given me so many incredible adventures and experiences I
could never have dreamed of, but outside of it, I suddenly
realized how lame I am. I prioritized work so much,
I stopped making friends. I only have about four in London that actually wanna hang out and I got no real hobbies
except for exhaustively plunking myself in front of a video game after writing emails till five a.m and I didn’t do any normal
stuff people would do like getting a house
or a dog for dog sake. I think the next project should be to give myself a more
well rounded existence. Project sphere.
(chuckles) The sphere is me, I am the sphere. Do you think there’s a
flat sphere conspiracy? I’m sorry. We both realized you don’t
need to say yes to everything. It’s up to me how much work I wanna do in order to secure my future but there should be a balance so at the end of the
day, you’re still happy. This was like the clouds
parting to reveal a new land. I like to think this world
was in the Jurassic Period. Yee. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could breathe a bit. I wasn’t afraid of risking everything and having to move back
into my parents if I failed. No offense fam. So what next? We both wanted to have a think
about what was next for us and Dan began another
epic quest of his own to make a 45 minute long video. So, we decided to pause the gaming channel which we knew would upset people who love it as much as we do but we had to hope they
would understand why. The thing is, most people
love Dan and Phil Games just for being funny and the couch banter rather than hardcore gaming skills action. So I think if we did feel like having that thing on the side again, maybe it could transform into something new in the future but on the other hand, I
think that final Sims video was definitely a perfect ending if it is. As Dan and Phil, we definitely feel like we’ve done every genre of big project we could do together over this five years, apart from maybe a cook book but we all know how much of
a disaster that would be. So while we love creating
together and we’ll continue to pop up together on YouTube
for more classic content, maybe for the next secret
big project, it’s time for Philly to think about the
big dreams he’s always had. Sorry, I don’t know why
that went into third person. Hopefully it won’t go into fourth person. But before anything else, there was something I needed to do. I just came out as gay which still feels slightly weird
to say out loud on YouTube. I think meeting my
audience made me realize, is sometimes sharing personal
stuff can help others. So to do that and feel comfortable myself talking publicly about parts
of my life going forward, I decided to make a
YouTube video about it. This also involved telling some of my extended family beforehand and this, thankfully, was
a very positive experience. But when I read the reaction
down in the comments, it really warmed my heart and gave me hope for
the future of humanity. So, thanks and here we are now, 2019,
making another YouTube video which I still love doing. It’s funny, as I started
YouTube as a place to be creative and tell stories, some particularly weird
ones back in the day and it’s almost like
I’m coming full circle. Whether it’s a horror
movie with my friends or an interactive space adventure, what I’ve always dreamed
of doing is writing stories and directing films to take
what’s in my mind and share it with the world on your screen,
maybe even a bigger screen. Now remember the rule of secret projects. Who knows what’s going on
and if it’ll ever be real but let’s just say some
writing is happening. Either way, I’m still here
doing something I love and I’ll keep sharing
stories from my weird life and my strange mind for as
long as people want to hear. Well actually, even if
nobody is listening, I might just keep going anyway, that’s what I was doing when I started because I’m just doing what makes me happy and the fact that it’s taken
me on so many adventures and made so many people happy is the best part of my life, so thank you and there we go, maybe I’ll see you again for another one of these
via a futuristic whiteboard in your mind in 2025, if
the Earth still exists. You can subscribe to my channel, see all my new videos on the way. Give this a thumbs up if you enjoyed it and you can check out my last Draw My Life in the description if you wanna go even deeper into those Phil juices. Sorry, I promise that was
the last one, goodbye.

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