Excuse Me | Baroness von Sketch Show


Oh, I gotta go
to the bathroom. Ugh, ahem, I just have to
use the washroom, if you could excuse me. I just have to- (chiming) Well I’m in a pickle. Ha. I just, I have to
use the washroom. Oh yeah, she’s been passed
out for a long time. For a little while. Yeah, don’t want to
wake someone up. Yeah, yeah.
It’s kind of rude. Co-Pilot:
The Captain has turned
on the seat belt sign, please take your seats- Nancy:
1-2-2, I don’t have to poo, 1-2-3, I don’t have to pee. Excuse me, I have to use
the washroom, please. 5-6-7-8, you don’t
got to menstruate. I have a lot going on. Down there.
-Oh I’m sorry. It’s just that time
of the month and- everything goes. I find when you
have your period, all of a sudden
you have diarrhea. Cacaaaa! Cacaaaa! Excuse me.
-Yes? Sorry, could you-could you
just keep it down a little? Well we all have our problems, I might shit my tights so. Excuse me. Babababababababa. Hi, my name’s Nancy, I have to go to the bathroom, I think I might have
diarrhea, please. (chiming) Excuse me, hi. She just said that
she wanted a coffee, so if I were you, I’d wake her up and make
her a coffee right now, like bingo bongo. You know ma’am, I
cannot help but notice that your seatbelt
is not on, but the Captain has put
on the seatbelt sign. I need you to take
the seatbelt, put it very tightly
right across this
area of your lap. Can I get you a tea,
coffee, liquid? How much longer do you think? Probably five hours.
-Five hours. I mean, with turbulence,
you’re looking at six. Hello, bonjour.
-Bonjour. Hi.
-Hello. Okay, so I have a
little problem, once already I’ve
asked you so polite to sit in your seat, but now I find you sitting
on this woman’s head. Do you want the police to
arrest you when you come home? Right, okay, there we go. Thank you. Little missy moo moo,
likes a chocolate pudding. Hello, hello, miss pudding, hello pudding. Oh my good gosh, this is what is happening
here is pretty intense. (chiming) Nancy:
What do you think you’re doing? You push that button you
know what’s going to happen? Pbbbbbbbst, everywhere. (chiming)
Don’t you touch that god
damn flight attendant, do you hear me? I’ll take a piss right
now on your shoulder. (playful instrumental) Hey, hey. Act like
you’re asleep everybody, act like you’re asleep. Everybody, act like
you’re asleep. No one is getting
arrested today. Flight Attendant: Excusez moi?
-Yes? Excusez moi, would you
like some more pudding? Oh no I’m okay.
Thank you so much. Okay, go back to sleep.
-Ah, wait, no please, ma’am. I have to use. Look away, look away. Look away, look away! Did you just shit in a sock? Yes. Okay. I think I’m going to
use the washroom. (dramatic instrumental)

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