First Aid Fail – The Office US


So assessing the situation. Are they breathing? No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs. No, that’s not part of it. Where are they? You know what, if we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there? I would wanna live with no legs. How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin. You don’t do anything. Alright, well let’s get back to it, ’cause you’re losing him. Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of 100 beats per minute. [sigh] Uhh, okay. That’s hard to keep track. How many is that per hour? How’s that gonna help you? I will divide and then count to it. Right. Okay, well a good trick is to pump to the tune of “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song? Yes! Yes, I do. I love that song. [clears throat] ♫ First I was afraid, I was petrified ♫ No, it’s… ♫ Ah ah ah ah ♫ ♫ Stayin’ alive, stayin alive. ♫
– Okay, gotcha. You were in the parking lot earlier! That’s how I know you! ♫ Ah ah ah ah ♫ ♫ Stayin’ alive, Stayin’ alive ♫ [Harmonizing] ♫ Ah-ah-ah-ah ♫ ♫ Stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive ♫ ♫ Ah, you can tell by the way I use my walk ♫ ♫ I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk ♫ ♫ Music loud and women warm, been kicked around since I was born ♫ ♫ Well, it’s alright, it’s okay,
you can look the other way ♫ ♫ Rit dit doo, rit dit doo ♫
[others harmonizing] Okay, okay! Okay! [Michael muttering lyrics] ♫ Stayin’ alive, Stayin’ alive. ♫ Yeah, okay. You didn’t maintain 100 beats per minute, and the ambulance didn’t arrive because nobody called 911. So, you lost ’em. Okay, he’s dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose? … I have no idea. Anyone else? We bury him. Wrong. [makes buzzer sound] Check for an organ donor card. If he has one, we only have minutes to harvest. He has no wallet, I checked. He is an organ donor. He is? -Yep.
– Give me some ice in a styrofoam bucket! Here we go. [grunts] Angela: Oh my god!
[others groaning] Dwight!
Kelly: Dwight, what are you — [Dwight yelling] We search for the organs. Where’s the heart, the precious heart? I’m not feeling well. I need to sit down. [comforting Stanley]
Hey Stanley, are you okay? [suckering noise] [Angela shrieks] Stanley: Oh My God.
Dwight! “Clarisse.” [everyone groans] Can you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy? I didn’t think it was very realistic in the movie. It turns out… It’s pretty realistic. We had to pay for it. Cost us 3,500 dollars. 5,300 dollars for a dummy? Wow… Well, okay. Look. David, this is why we have training. We start with the dummy… and we learn from our mistakes… and now Dwight knows not to cut the face off a real person.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *