Key & Peele – Pizza Order


– HELLO? THANKS FOR CALLING
MARIO’S PIZZA. THIS IS CARLOS SPEAKING. – HELLO. WE WOULD LIKE A LARGE PIE WITH PEPPERONI, PINEAPPLE,
AND CHEESY CRUST. – LARGE PEPPERONI
WITH PINEAPPLE AND CHEESY CRUST. – WE WOULD ALSO LIKE
A LARGE PIE WITH BACON, PINEAPPLE, AND…CHEESY CRUST. – LARGE BACON, PINEAPPLE,
WITH CHEESY CRUST. OKAY. IS THAT GONNA COMPLETE
YOUR ORDER, SIR? – YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET ME GAUGE THE ROOM. UH, GUYS, ARE WE GONNA WANT
ANOTHER PIZZA? LET ME JUST–WHO’S HUNGRY?
SHOW OF HANDS. LET ME SEE ‘EM. ONE, TWO, THREE.
KEEP ‘EM UP. FOUR, FIVE, SIX. – AH, HAVING A PARTY.
[chuckling] – YUP.
PRETTY BIG ONE TOO. COME ON, GUYS,
KEEP ‘EM UP. HUGO, SUMMER?
HANDS? FOOD? YOU KNOW WHAT,
LET’S PLAY IT SAFE. LET’S GET ANOTHER PIE
WITH HAM, PINEAPPLE. – ALL RIGHT, HAM– OH, ARE YOU GUYS GONNA NEED
CHEESY CRUST ON THE THIRD? – GOOD QUESTION.
I’LL GAUGE THE ROOM. HEY, GUYS, DO WE WANT
CHEESY CRUST ON THE THIRD? OKAY, YEESH. THAT IS A RESOUNDING YES FOR CHEESY CRUST
ON THE THIRD. CLAIRE SAYS YOU READ HER MIND. – CLAIRE, HUH?
I LIKE THAT NAME. – IT’S A GOOD ONE. OH, ALSO, MY BOY ANDY OVER HERE
IS SAYING YOU HAVE SOMETHING
CALLED CHICKEN POPPERS. – IS SHE CUTE? – UH, WHO’S THAT AND WHAT NOW? – CLAIRE.
– OH. HER BODY’S LIKE A FOUR.
ANYWAY, WE WOULD ALSO– – WELL, H-HOW DO YOU MEAN? – HA, LET’S JUST SAY
SHE’S KIND OF A BIG GIRL. – THAT’S ALL GOOD. THAT’S ALL SUPERFICIAL, MAN.
I LIKE CLAIRE FOR WHAT’S INSIDE. – YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW CLAIRE. – YO, BUT FOR REAL THOUGH, I FEEL LIKE
I DO KNOW CLAIRE, MAN. PUT ME ON THE PHONE
WITH HER. – UH…YOU DON’T NEED
TO SPEAK TO CLAIRE. – NO, I DO. YOU KNOW WHAT,
I GOTTA LEVEL WITH YOU, MAN. I…[bleep] HER. – OH! OH, I’M SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO GET
IN BETWEEN YOU GUYS. – NO, IT’S QUITE ALL RIGHT. ‘TWAS A WHILE AGO… BEFORE SHE BLIMPED UP. MY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND’S LIV. BODY, TEN.
FACE, TEN. BUT ANYWAY, CLAIRE–YEAH.
I HIT THAT SEXUALLY. AND, UH, AS DID MY BOY HUGO. HELL, EVEN BUBBA GOT
SOME OF THAT. SO JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW,
USED GOODS, USED GOODS. – SO YOU WOULDN’T CARE
IF I ASKED HER OUT? – WELL…
LET ME DO IT FOR YOU. HEY, CLAIRE, THIS GUY
FROM THE PIZZA PLACE WANTS TO DATE YOU.
TOO POOR? ALL RIGHT,
I’LL LET HIM DOWN EASY. – WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
NO. TELL HER THAT, NO,
I’M NOT A RICH MAN. BUT I’M A GOOD MAN. TELL HER,
“CLAIRE, I BELIEVE IN DESTINY. “AND I BELIEVE
THAT WE’VE ALWAYS KNOWN “THAT OUR SOUL MATE
WAS OUT THERE. “THE MOMENT THAT WE HAD
THAT UNSPOKEN CONNECTION “ABOUT THE CHEESY CRUST… “I REALIZED THAT YOU WERE
ALWAYS THE ONE. “BECAUSE–AND I KNOW
THIS SOUNDS CORNY– “BUT THAT MOMENT… “WAS JUST LIKE… SIMPLE.” – WOW. YOU REALLY DO CARE
ABOUT CLAIRE. – I DO. – OH, MY GOD!
CLAIRE JUST GOT SHOT! – WHAT?
NO! – OH! IT JUST CAME
THROUGH THE WINDOW. IT WAS A BULLET.
IT HIT HER IN THE NECK. OH, CLAIRE’S DOWN!
SHE’S DEAD! SHE’S DEAD!
I’M CALLING THE COPS! SHE’S DEAD! – CLAIRE! NOOOO! – CHINESE IT IS.

100 comments

  • Comedy Central

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    Reply
  • Tarius Poole

    I hit that uhh sexually πŸ’€

    Reply
  • joseph joestar

    3:58 and pause the vid his face just made me laugh

    Reply
  • Ram Queen

    I wonder why the fat acceptance community isn't looking back at this and suing comedy central for fat phobia. They seem to be attacking comedians for saying controversial things years ago.

    Reply
  • Reqeez Rafiq

    I hit that, sekshually

    Reply
  • Umar Ahmer

    That was scream was legit!!

    Reply
  • Levi R.

    That guy is suck a Huge cockblock

    Reply
  • Lolee the Pomeranian Pup

    Keys scream at the end is actually pretty amazing

    Reply
  • CJ Harvey

    Top ten for sure as far as their skits go

    Reply
  • spartan1010101

    Plot Twist: He was pretending to want to meet Claire so he wouldn't have to make all those fucking pizzas

    Reply
  • Alan MuΓ±oz

    What's this character named

    Reply
  • jH3nG

    We

    Reply
  • misomiso

    Is Clare a reference to an Actress?

    Reply
  • Saifuc Iscam

    3:54 so satisfying with carlos key NOOOOOOOOOOO screaming πŸ˜…

    Reply
  • Lance Pena

    It hurts me everytime he say PINEAPPLE

    🀒

    Reply
  • Tyler Hobbs

    Moral of the story: Pineapple Does in fact, go on pizza

    Reply
  • Random things

    .____. …. I just wanted some pizza

    Reply
  • Kappazoid

    1:03 Holy shit is that Pepe on the third poster in the back?

    Reply
  • ariel make em mad

    me when i order a lot of food

    Reply
  • chendaddy

    Is she cute?
    Who?
    Claire.
    Oh…her body's like a four.

    I don't know why, that fucking slayed me.

    Reply
  • YeaGG

    😐 have no idea what this is like.

    Reply
  • Paul Gale

    Am I the only one that would like to see sequel sketches to some of these classics from Key and Peele!?

    Reply
  • Saustrich The ostiche

    2:15 in the background it looks like there is an F-86a-5 sabre

    Reply
  • κΉ€νœ˜μ—°

    I just realised that Bubba is that Boba Fett action figureβ€”

    Reply
  • Max Solomco

    I LL HAVE 2 NUMBER NIIINES…

    Reply
  • Halo Menagerie

    At first i thought he was acting as a girl on the phone, but then he said SIR. and i went what?!?! and he friende with dolls. XD

    Reply
  • Nihlat SOILIHI

    Chinese it iiiiis! Damn his voice ! i can't stand itπŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

    Reply
  • chri la8

    why not just say she's dating someone already? what a waste of pizza

    Reply
  • Vaquero Vegano

    Key plays a good Mexican guy✊🏿

    Reply
  • Tomika Kelly

    This is like when you order a ton of food to-go and ask for 2 forks knowing damn well it's all for you. 😫

    Reply
  • Alan Parson

    This is why you don't play video games, kids.

    Reply
  • WELCOME TO HORRORVILLE.

    Lmao her body’s like a 4 🀣🀣🀣🀣

    Reply
  • metalfaust19

    lol pepe on the wall

    Reply
  • Jerrika Pirtle

    Wtf???!

    Reply
  • Latesha Weeks

    Am dead πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • SpartanSoldier76

    I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard πŸ˜‚. *Smash*. "Claire's dead!"

    Reply
  • ThiΓ©baut JoΓ«l

    Well the guy looks more like a Star Wars fan than a LOTR actually (for what I saw of them)

    Reply
  • Midnight Overlord

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Chill

    β€œHer body’s like a 4” lmaoooo

    Reply
  • Trashcan Troubadour

    These guys just got too many different ways to be funnyπŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • tom m

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Einl Einl

    β€œI hit that. Sexually.” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Milo Tucker

    LET'S JUST BE REAL,THIS SCENE IS PATHETIC AND SAD AF..πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Mukbangz with Dee & Mya

    "Hell even bubba got some of that" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Adrian garza

    Just realized that these skits are like extended vines.

    Reply
  • Pantego Hummus

    "we" πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • xDre Tsuyoshix

    This shi* is so relatable

    Reply
  • Trulys Wish

    Is this about the guy ordering a large amount of pizza so he says he having a party when actually he’s gonna eat it all?

    Reply
  • LilXander 20

    annnnnnnndd cheesy crust

    Reply
  • Viktor Hill

    HUNGRY

    Reply
  • Amarissa Janae

    I hit that… sexually

    Reply
  • YOURaR3TARDD

    Ok yeeeeshhh πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Mark Wilson

    Its all fun and games until someone get shot

    Reply
  • Rudolf Hess 2

    This is everyone

    Reply
  • starstruckt

    welp chinese it is πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Bluemilk92

    Just so you guys know, I hit that to. Back when Claire was a solid 9.5+ By hit that, I mean I had a relationship where we were all touchling each other all the time, and like, kissling all over the place and stuff. It's really a true thing. I've done… You know… Stuff…
    Anyway, just so I know you know what I'm talking about, can you explain in detail what men and women do together? I mean, obviously I know, I just don't want to leave you hangin'…

    Reply
  • michael

    Keegan makes a good Hispanic lol

    Reply
  • Leadrain1776 Gaming

    ….aaaaannnnnnnd cheesy crust

    Reply
  • RADHAA NILIA

    Lol πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Jesus Casillas

    Clair just got shot.

    Reply
  • billy felix

    Wait, it’s just a phone case

    Reply
  • D N

    Her body's like a 4.

    Reply
  • steven Huncho

    Dudes would do anything for a green card nowadays

    Reply
  • Snupe Cruz

    Gay I tell u

    Reply
  • thejwvariety

    Omfg I love these guys

    Reply
  • krrrruptidsoless

    Must be taken from some guy from Reddit

    Reply
  • P D

    pepperoni pineapple and bacon pineapple, the most disgusting kinds hahaha

    Reply
  • Sergio MuΓ±iz

    That moment when the pizza guy unintentionally find out he is lying about having friends

    Reply
  • Marthine GjΓΈlberg

    So fu*ked up…. Funny lol

    Reply
  • JT Lighting

    So if I’m guessing right Claire got a train Ran on her

    Reply
  • AbdeRrahim AbdeRrahim

    Man I am going back to old videos of these two…

    Reply
  • Charlie Farson

    If white people did this skit…they'd be called racist

    Reply
  • I'm Bored

    Instead of saying shes a lesbian

    Just say she is under age

    Reply
  • Aaron Tkachuk

    this is like online dating.

    Reply
  • Bluddy Brilliant

    I love how every body is suggesting things to get rid of the guys.. but one thing needs to be realized that if it was that simple and straight forward, this sketch wouldn't even have been made..

    Reply
  • Kiran

    🀣

    Reply
  • Arun James

    Hahaha peele cracks me up

    Reply
  • Brad G

    7k dislikes? Really? I get there are over 400k likes, but how in the f**k could 7k people watch this and think, nope!

    Reply
  • Ben Huston

    CLAIRE!!C!!!!!!!!11!!!111!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • Dalene Perkins

    That unspoken connection about the cheesy crust πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Chevaughn Clarke

    Dude just say that’s he is mental deranged

    Reply
  • j b

    Awkward omg πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Gun Metal

    Poor guy πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Statue X

    ROFL…..Claire's been shot…She's Down! LOL

    Reply
  • Salim Saad

    Watching all of the key and peele videos for tenth time

    Reply
  • F. Rose

    πŸ˜‚ Great video! ✌

    Reply
  • Cristian Mancillas

    Large pie πŸ€£πŸ˜†πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Vijay priyan

    Carlito

    Reply
  • aliciabrillante

    I love the dandruff on his shirt!!!

    Reply
  • 20teamplayer

    This must happen a LOT. The coworkers didn't even flinch LOL.

    Reply
  • SlenderGamer

    i just wanted a pizza πŸ™

    Reply
  • rap kid B20

    This is how ni99as be on Xbox in party chats when a female join πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

    Reply
  • Gold\ //Venus

    "Heelloo we would like a large pie with bacon pineapple and cheesy crust"

    Reply
  • Gold\ //Venus

    "Also my boy Andy says you have something called chicken poppers?"

    Reply
  • Gold\ //Venus

    "Twas a while ago"

    Reply
  • Linda Hernan

    β€œChinese it is β€œπŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • Ryan Reed

    I'm a little creeped out by his usage of the word 'pie'

    Reply
  • LadyMidnight

    Carlos is hot though lol Clare’s a lucky girl (well… before she got shot in the neck)

    Reply
  • Dekho jalwa

    πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ this is so fucking funny Clair and pizza guy

    Reply
  • Poorvik Prakash

    He looks so much like Dutch Van Der Linde from rdr2

    Reply

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