MCFLY A ÉCRIT UN NOUVEAU SKETCH


– How are you dude? – Well… you know… With the kids it’s tough but we still manage to sleep 3 or 4 hours straight – Is it your girl who has trouble sleeping? – No, no that’s the boy! A month and a half is tough… – Well, I’m aware of that! – Yeah… – I’ve written a short text.- For us? – Yeah, a short fiction. – Cool! And it wouldn’t be too expensive? – No, you’ll see, it’s perfect for Sunday; it’s easy to shoot and stuff. – Well… – Can I read it? – Yeah, that’s nice! – Cool! Just… the characters are names Raph and David for now… – Yeah? – I was lazy and didn’t find names but… – Yes, they’re just names to rehearse? -Yes! – And what about the cast…? – Well… you’re Raph but it’s a …err… pure coincidence – Am I starting? – Yes, with the stage directions. -“Raph comes in and David interrupts him.” -“Uugh its stinks all of a sudden…Is it you breath again?Let me smell it!” -“Raph let David smell his breath.” – … Come on, do it! – Arrrrrgh! -“Dude, that’s horrible! Seriously, you have to do something!” – Really? – Oh but Dude…Lucas, Maxenss and I often talk about it and I swear it’s horrible, you breath smells like… – I…I don’t see that in the text. – I… what did you say? -“We often talk about it with…” – Yeah,I don’t see it in the text… – Yes… no I didn’t print the right version, sorry… But there is just that change. – Okay! – No worries, let’s resume err… … yes so: “you breath stinks! Nobody dares telling you.” -“I, Raphael, realises that I must be more respectful towards my… …my oral health…” – Yes dude…so good to hear that, it’s about time, so cool. – But… what’s wrong? Does my breath stink? You didn’t even read, you… … does my breath stink?! – No… the next line is: “Don’t you have a gum, please?” – Yes, I saw that line but I felt like you were directly talking to me. – No, no that’s just the dialogue…but I know the text very well so… – Oh okay well that’s flattering, it means that you acted perfectly! – Well, thank you. But let’s resume to try and follow the guideline – Just… do agree that it was confusing? – Yes, but start again with “don’t you have a gum?” – Okay… “Don’t you have a gum, please?” -“Yes sure! We’ll add that to the list of things you owe me anyway!” – …”What list?” -“Well, the 20€ I gave you yesterday for La Cantine, the 2 Ubers I paid because, APPARENTLY, you couldn’t pay with your credit card..” -“Dude…” -“…and I don’t even talk about the fact that you SELDOM put money in the Chopper moneybox… it’s supposed to be a common pot! It’s for the both of us, I am not the only one putting money in it! It’s not… it’s not… Mcfly’s wallet!” – David… La Cantine, yesterday… really happened. And Choper… I mean, these are real things so… – But… – No, listen… – Stick to the text! Otherwise how can we unfold a.. a narrative?! – I am but it’s just that it’s real life, real things! So surely you implicitly have something to tell me! – That’s the worst thing…obviously we get inspired by real life. You know that, it’s not the first time you’re reading a text or writing a text, I mean… – Don’t be condescending. – No but I mean… When you write you get inspired from things in real life, that’s it, everybody does it whether in stand-up comedy or cinema, everywhere! – That is true… Just… is there a gag or something funny afterwards? – Yes! There’s a gag but give this text a chance. – Cause you agree that for now there are just two men talking and it’s not funny? – Well, you keep on interrupting so of course it cannot be funny… – Just.. let’s breath… but people watching are waiting if not to laugh, at least to be entertained and for now… – Stay focus, just 2 minutes please. – Okay… – Cause for now… – But you won’t repeat the same thing, anyway? – No! I am unfolding the story! – Okay, let’s go! – “Raphael Carlier, my best friend with whom I am shooting videos, can you please stop being a martyr with your receding hairline, we got that you don’t shoulder it since you keep talking about it BUTthe first things you should take care of are your pride and the way you think you’re above everyone and everything. Your behaviour weighs on me, gives me anxiety and it’s difficult for me, especially with the tiredness linked to my newborn baby (that you don’t take into account)! And I’m not even talking about your demands whenever we’re working on videos: you’re tiring concerning details — “demands, demands”, “I, Raphael, am demandind!” But that’s unbearable! I think it’s unbearable! I don’t know how to break it to you but today I’m taking my courage in both hands and I’m telling you: it’s UN-BEA-RA-BLE!” Go ahead, it’s your turn now… – That’s no longer even linked with the gum now… – No but dude, that’s just a version for rehearsals.We will evolve, we can still change it… I’m just reading the text. – Fuck it! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?! Are you completely stupid?! – Tell me things if you need to!! That’s completely nuts! – Hmm excuse me? – You need to knock before coming in… – I’m here for the pizza. – But nobody ordered a pizza! – Well, I did order a pizza – But dude, it’s 4PM… – You’re funny… It’s time for a snack! – Hi! An hawaiian pizza with mushrooms instead of pineapples, it that it? – Yes, that’s it! – Couldn’t you directly ask for a Regina instead? – Yes, but I prefer “hawaiian” because I feel like I’m travelling. -Well, have a good trip. – Thanks -Maybe we can start all over again. Do you want a slice to relax? -No I’m fine. Okay…I’m cool… If that’s a fiction what is its point? Even if we changed the names, I mean…this sketch sucks… Dude that’s…that’s rubbish. – See, you’re way too demanding that’s what I was saying… – I was the one saying it, this text obviously is a means to say things you’re too afraid to say cause you’re a coward! – So now I’m a coward, thanks… Okay so you think I would use a video to get a message to you? Is that what you’re saying? – Yes. – Well you’re disappointing me. – Hold on… – Great, please take this call… – Allo? -“Yes Carlito, the shooting has been confirmed.” – What shooting? – “The one of Friday, you’re the protagonist.” – Okay, I didn’t know. Who wrote the script? -“That’s Mcfly, he didn’t tell you? It’s called “Carlito’s trial”.” – The trial of … – “Carlito, yeah, like… you.” – Dude, wait, wait, don’t go! – I can’t stand it anymore, how can you thing like this? I don’t want to see you anymore! – Come on, we can talk… – Dude, that’s unbearable! – Okay, okay, i’m sorry! You know how I am: i’m bumbling… blame it on my bungling – Dude, it’s been 15 years since I blamed it on your bungling. – Do it once more for our friendship… – Damn it… – You know I love you and…unconsciously I tried to get a message to you – Yes, sure, “unconsciously”… – Yes, well maybe I’m also afraid to talk to you! It’s not easy, we’re working like madmen all day long, I don’t want to ruin things. In the evening we go home, there are our families and I don’t want to call and spend an hour on the phone. I know it’s stupid but that’s the way it is. I’m sorry! – Okay, anyway, I know that I overreact sometimes and I can be a pain but just… next time, let’s talk… for real! – Yes, you’re completely right! – Cool! – Take a gum anyway, but you’re right! – What a bastard… That’s incredible, you’re not letting go… – Oh, come on! That’s just a joke. – But does my breath really stink? – No, I mean…a bit but… Anyway, we don’t have a video for this Sunday. – Yes, we do ! Look, I’ve prepared a videoclip – You didn’t?! Seriously? – “Mcfly, the youtuber, who puts this whole life in his stories. He plays it friendly, but all he wants is make money. He could sell his infants just for some product placements. And he constantly wait for people to tell him he lost weight. Yet, everyday (oh) he looks a little more like Kirby.” – Dude, that tune is awesome! Did you do that? – No, but it’s not the point… – Dude, it’s gonna go viral, we’ll get millions of views! You nailed it! Dude, it’s crazy! Let’s edit it guys! We have something huge for this Sunday! – Have you listened to the lyrics, at least ? – No! – Cool… Music Music Music Music

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