Simon Talbots Sketch Show – Jehovah’s Witness


Good day, I’m from the Jehovah’s Witnesses Have you thought about… From Jehovah’s… Hello, little friend, are your parents home..? I’m from Jeho… ♪♫ Chilldren are giiifts froom our Lord… ♪♫ Good day, I’m from Jehovah’s witnesses Do you want to hear about the word of God? Yes, I would love to! that’s alright. Have a nice day. Where are you going? I want to hear about this Jehovah You really want to hear? I would love to! Come inside! Now…Please tell me! This sounds really exciting! Yeees, it is….hmmm…you know… Maybe I should be honest with you right from the start I don’t want to waste your time… As a Jehovah’s witness you can not celebrate birthdays Ok…. I don’t really celebrate those anyway I don’t really like the way people celebrate themselves… It’s kind of cheesy You think that is cheesy? Yes OK…OK… You know what…? According to Jehovah’s witnesses, doomsday is right around the corner It could be any time now. At any moment now it will rain fire from the sky All your friends will die, screaming Yes, but death always has a reason And if that happens when I’m in a bed as an old man Or if it happens in another way, then… A wild beast with two horns like a lamb that talks like a dragon! Yes, exactly. There he is If this beast comes crawling through my window while I am sleeping and starts eating me from my feet and up That would be more fun than just die of the flu! 5 hours later…. And then comes the four gruesome horsemen riding from the sky I love horses! Great..! Well I guess we agree then..! Let me recap all this No birthdays, No sex out of wedlock, No masturbation, You think fireworks are made by the devil, Easter rabbit is a demon, The world is 6000 years old,
-Max You are prepared to minimize relations to everyone you know that doesn’t follow Jehovah If you ever start doubting your faith You will be disfellowshipped from the congregation You’re not to eat a steak that is too raw Even if you succeed following all these hundreds of rules you will probably never go to heaven because there is only room for 144.000 Reading a Harry Potter-book is basically the same as worshipping Satan i could not have said it better myself That’s great! well. then…. Then you just have to come to the meetings Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays Oh OK those days… I play squash I can’t do that hmm

18 comments

  • gullebring

    Kæft hvor er han sjov

    Edit: shit mand jeg dør Simon talbot likede min kommentar jeeez

    Reply
  • Freestyling

    Jeg havde håbet på at du bankede på fra dør til dør, for at låne toilettet 😛

    Reply
  • Lo lo

    Du er min yndlings komiker! Har elsket dig siden jeg var lille! Du gør enhver persons dårlige dag til en god dag!

    Reply
  • victor baun

    Simon Talbot 4 life

    Reply
  • Rambo

    Den her har jeg set før men den er kun 2 dage gammel?!

    Reply
  • Skye Wright

    I wish this had English subtitles!

    Reply
  • Danny Casey

    This is so funny even though I didnt understand a word! Im an ExJWs. I believe the study was already believing everything except for something at the end.
    Please make it with CC for me?

    Reply
  • Klaus Christiansen

    Fuck også. Nu bliver jeg bombarderet af videoer om johovads vidner. Det i det lys, var det så ikke så skægt.

    Reply
  • Picolady

    Ha ha ha

    Reply
  • Trine Jensen

    Han får at vide at han ikke må holde fødselsdage…men jeg har sgu da set ham reklamere for Spar’s fødselsdag 😜😂

    Reply
  • solokom

    why do I get this recommendation in a language I don't understand a single word in?

    Reply
  • Esben Lund

    Stempelkaffe, peanuts og saltstænger sikke en kombination !! 😀

    Reply
  • Peter Frank

    Great conclusion of the jws.. but you said one tiny error like me.. the 144000 is the “anointed” ones (only dudes, no girls) who, at the ‘armageddon’ will slaughter the rest of humanity while the rest of the jws, if 👍🏼, willnlive on earth (aka paradise) AFTER they have cleaned up all the corps and dead bodies on earth that the 144000 murdered. So, in my stand point “Jehovah” is darn lazy dude not doing anything..

    Reply
  • Huw Simpson

    Very good

    Reply
  • Pierre Lustiger

    Sous-titres en français à valider ici https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_editor?action_mde_edit_form=1&v=-eb0uyE2jCk&lang=fr&bl=vmp&ui=hd&forceedit=captions&tab=captions&o=U&ar=1570224005023

    Reply
  • Mike Moats

    My mother is a witness she would laugh at this too. Too be fair though the beliefs you pointed out aren't accurate but hey it's still funny.

    Reply
  • JW Suicides

    Spot on!

    Reply
  • SAVY

    What if you were a jehovah's witness who was merely pretend to be into Christmas? Gathering clues and planting in to take down the holidays from within?

    Reply

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