The Expert: IT Support (Short Comedy Sketch)
I’m leaving early today.
Have a look at these slides, I’ve marked down a few notes. Could you, please, implement them and print out handouts for tomorrow’s progress meeting? 25 copies should do it. Wait, wait! Could you email me the original file you used for this? Sorry, gotta rush. Oh, you know that video I showed you earlier? Add that to the printouts as well. Thanks! Add video to printouts?.. Welcome to the automated IT support centre. Our menu has recently changed. Please, listen to all the options before selecting. We are sorry for the inconvenience. For e-mail related issues, please press 1. For printing related issues, please press 2. For server related issues, please press 3. For database related issues, please press 4. For intranet related issues, please press 29. For website related issues, please press 30. You can now choose an option from our menu. In your own words, please describe the issue you are experiencing with printing. I’m unable to — You can start speaking now. I’m unable to connect — I’m unable to connect to the 5th floor printer. I think it might — Are you looking to request access to the 5th floor printer? No, I have access to it, it just appears to be offline. Answering yes or no, are you looking to request access to the 5th floor printer? No. In order to request access to the 5th floor printer, please send an e-mail to IT support quoting your employee number and system ID. All your enquiries are very important to us, so we will get back to you in 48 hours. I. Already. Have access to it. It just — We’re very happy that we have solved your problem. We strive to satisfy our customers, so your feedback is very important. You haven’t solved my problem! Would you mind answering a few short questions? On a scale of 1 to 10, how satisfied are you with the services you have received? You have answered 10. Thank you. Would you recommend — YES!!! Welcome to the IT support centre — You hear that? I did it! Access this! Excuse me? Who’s this? Can I help you? Is that you Anderson? Wrong number! For wireless network related issues, please press 8. If you have received an email that asks you to look at the attachment, but there is no attachment, please press 13. If you cannot find a file on your crowded desktop, please press 17. If technology is just not doing what you want it to do, please press 22. If you’re having trouble with that thing, you know, which you need, the one that you’ve always used, please press 26. We have added your e-mail address to our mailing list. Every now and then we send out newsletters with our latest offers, as well as offers from carefully selected 3rd parties. This doesn’t happen too often. We promise.