THE QUICK DRAW MARSHMALLOW SHOWDOWN
D: (pew) (has anyone else noticed that D: looks like a scared face….) P: Hello, DanAndPhilGames animatronic paint brushes! D: Or am I supposed to be like P: pew pew D: I blew the…the…the… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) D: What do you pull back on a gun?
P: The trigger. P: you blew the trigger. D: You don’t pull back the trigger, that’s what you do when you shoot somebody.
P: The safety! D: That’s not the safety.
P: The barrel! D: The…oh my god how can we not know this.
P: the automatic ammunition D: The..reload-y (P: ch ch) pull back the.. (P: ch ch) and then it’s loaded.
P: (gun shot noise again) D: anyway, (P: Hi!) Dan and Phil and guns. what up? P: and today we’re gonna be playing quick draw!
D: so do we compete for something here? D: cause you do six and I do six and then like it says how many you got right P: we’ve already done this as an Dan vs. Phil. P: so we’re doing it for fun. but also, for some P: “Essential Waitrose mini pink and white marshmallows” D: when we did our baking video, we have these as an option D: because as many astute commenters said
P: astUTE D: the small marshmallows melt easier.
P: yeah. D: however they don’t taste as good as the mega marshmallows we used
P: The thicc ones (THICC) (SOFT AND NEAT i dont regret that) D: which were the worst ones ever for melting, but… D: then they tasted great.
P: they tasted (clicks tongue) D: let’s just talk about marshmallows for ten minutes D: anYWAY
P: first up. alright. D: this might get violent i’m just saying.
P: this is gonna end in bloodshed P: and dead Daniels. P: so Quickdraw! is all about getting a robot to understand what you’re drawing. P: last time, i was disastrous even though i’ve got a degree P: not a degree //laughs P: a GCSE in art D: it’s a GCSE, a degree-
P: whatever, A level D: same thing, alright P: so today I’m gonna be extra good and you’re all gonna be like P: “wOW phil, that was like the Mona Lisa !!1!1” 😀
D: okay D: well I’ll go first. are you ready for this?
P: but better than van gogh trying to copy it P: alright. let’s go. D: you are an offense to the history of art, phil. P: who’s going first?
D: me. D: leTs dRaW-
P: draw us //laughs D: ssTEAK P: steak D: okay here we go
P: that’s actually quite hard to draw D: i reckon most people (P: what does a steak look like?) dooooo that and then- P: that’s a steak? that looks like a skeleton head! D: it did look like a skeleton head there P: lipstick D: lipstick D: ok umm.. P: yeah, so start with a circle D: “i see moon” what kind of moon looks like THAT, you turnip! P: that looks like a poop D: here we go, lipstick P: toothpaste! D: oh come on D: alright lets- (P: hotdog) oh god! its so easy to go horrible- wait wait wait wait! (P: you’re gonna make it worse!) i’m gonna do this. D: and then I’m gonna do- P: that looks- D: D: W H A T ? D: are you joking?
P: you had 20 seconds. D: are you jo- yeah, but still! D: my god, the key to this game is to draw D: what you think (P: what he thinks it is, yeah okay.) D: what would the robot recognize?
P: what does the robot believe in? P: fLAYYG… thats so- oh that’s so easy!
D: //laughs D: okay. Oh, christ (P: Oh here we go) okay. P: come on, Dan P: fLAMing-it up. D: when I was younger, a flamingo used to be my favourite animal P: really? D: yeah. P: they stink! you don’t want any in your house. D: do they smell more than other birds? P: they smell. whenever you go to the zoo and you go the flamingo enclosure it’s like oHGETMEAGASKMASK D: what is it about flamingos? P: ’cause they eat so much little shrimp and then poop it out i reckon. D: and then they just stand in it (P: i think that’s why they smell. it’s like fishy… ) and they’re just eating (P: …yeah) D: and then the pooping P: and they eat so much, that’s why they’re pink, so it’s like the smell is coming out of their skin. P: in the form of pinkness. D: a dissertation on flamingos D: oKAY oh shoot… i didn’t think- okay here we go, i hope you’re ready for dis (P: //laughs) this is gonna be… (sexy) (P: that-) D: this is actually oh my go-.. noOO i wanna keep going,, tHAT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DREW D: why would you liMIT ME?!1!?1 P: that was- it was pretty good. D: give me tWENTY minutes //still triggered D: what telephone is the robot thinking of…? P: (singing telephone by Lady Gaga :3) hello, hello baby- draw the video telephone..) D: wha- i jUST STARTED CLICKING ‘CAUSE- its nOT A KNEE (P: wha..what are you doing..?) D: sshhhHIIT okay P: what- what is thiss??? are you drawing..a telephone..box? D: i fricken’ panicked.. okay okay. D: oh no that’s a circle, that’s a circle- whY AM I DRAWING THIS KIND OF TELEPHONE?? D: I’ve got fiVE SECONDS!!! P: draw an iPhone!!! D: looK! loOK! its a teLEPHONE! IT’S A TELEPHONE!1! (P: what is that?) D: It’s a- yES!!! P: oh… one second away… P: That means you’ve got full marks. D: No, flopped the lipstick real hard. P: Oh yeah (D: wow) P: I thought you got it at the end. D: Yeah I did. P: Yeah. So, full marks for Dan. P: This is not looking good, guys. D: Okay. P: Bicycle. That is so easy. *D singing Bicycle Race by Queen* *both still singing* D: Oi oi oi oi okay. What, it’s like the f- I don’t know what’s happening here D: No I’m drawing the- why am I drawing the chaIN ON A BICYCLE?! D: Okay, what’s on the end of a bicycle?
P: Yoga pants!! P: Window! Confetti!
D: No, okay, it’s a seat! P: Castle!
D: It’s a – it’s a – BIKE! D: IT’S A BIKE!! P: What was that?? P: I – It kind of looks like a bike if you blur your eyes. D: Wow.
P: Oh, you did fail lipstick as well. D: *shouting* I thought I got lipstick at the end there! D: What the shit? P: There is still hope.
D: So, steak… P: Yeah.
D: Yes. P: Most people just draw it like that? P: What is that?
D: That is what I – yeah, I thought it would be that from above. P: Yeah.
D: Even though – what, what sort of steak is that? D: I’m not really a steak expert.
P: I – I don’t know. D: Okay, please show me –
P: I think lots of people do the, uh, D: No, they thought – they thought it looked like shoe…
P: Oh no. D: Really?
P: That’s an interesting shoe. D: Okay, uh, see is what I’m talking about. D: Everybody did it vertical. P: It had to be vertical, sideways was where you were wrong. I like that one. *laughs* that’s very, uh- D: “I’M STUCK BETWEEN WORLDS, FREE ME” D: look at that try-hard at the bottom there P: oh my God, you don’t need to shade it, jeez D: Alright how many minutes did you want for that drawing there? P: Someone drew the whole American flag. There are other places to go, you lags! (D: Yeah, the whole American flag.) D: COME TO BRAZEEL P: *laughs* D: And there’s Sweden I see there P: It’s like a flag test D: This is a flag test, ok Phil! P: Canadia! (That’s not offensive at all really we don’t mind) D: Ok, we’re Triangle Canada. P: Yeah, (Dan: Phil!) do that D: what’s this one? P: That is the flag of pineapples! D: Yes (jesus what the fuck is that?) P: That’s the Caspar Lee flag D: Sorry if that’s a country that you live in. D: Flamingo, I mean, both: SAXAPHONE D: I was so close yeah, it’s saxaphone. P: The flamingo might wanna be played like a saxaphone D: How hard did this first person fuck up P: OH MY GOD D: Look at thi- how- Ok, firstly that person’s done FOUR legs P: That is- D: Please tell me where the four legs are on a flaming- it’s a flamin-dog D: flaming-cow P:It’s a- It’s a miracle of science D: HOW- WHAT IS THIS?!! P: These all look like coat hangers D: *high-pitched voice* WAIT! WHO?? WHY??! D: look, elegant a f P: That’s good. D: Look it, that’s beautiful. P: I want that tattooed on my, back D: That’s like nosferatu and a cow had a- HOW IS THAT EVEN A FLAMINGO- P: I don’t know D: on any lev- and THAT, that’s a fucking brontosaurus P: *laughs* D: Okay? P: That is a brontosaurus D: never mind this shit Both: Telephone P: Oh, lots of people did old-school ones! D: Correct match- telephone, looks like- a BEAR P: If a bear looked like that, I’d be pretty horrified D: That’s like, a vibration or a hairdryer D: I don’t really- P: Or both at the same time D: And then apparently, I mean- P: Oh, its closest match was a motorbike and it didn’t even try to guess it. D: And how does that look like a motorbike- P: Lobster with a little smiley face! 🙂 D: Lobster is just like, I fell down the stairs when I was drawing this P: My go! *clap* Computer, okay, I got this! D: What the- Phil’s gonna go for a seventies computer P: No, I was- I’m going for a- P: *laughs* You incepted me… into doing it but it WORKED! D: I’M GONNA SHUT UP P: Octagon! P: …2, 3- D: I’m just waiting P: It already knew? P: I only drew like, three lines! D: WHHAT IS THIS D: I call absolute bull- how is this a bench? P: I’m doing the person sat on the bench! D: Stethoscope, person, potato, ceil- P: This is the- D: WHAT KIND OF BENCH IS THAT?! WHAT THE ffffff- an am- P: Wait- D: What are those hand- P: ohhh 🙁 P: i don’t know what happened there D: That was a complete- P: I was trying to do something with perspective D: Are you still alive? P: I’m trying, wait, just- wait D: Walk us through that, Phil P: zen zen D: What were the- P: zen D: the lumps? P: That was the- the- the top was like the back of the bench, y’know, where people have their death-bench-writing on D: Yeah, what were the headrests? P: That was the back of the bench, where they have the- the death-bench! D: That’s on the bottom of a bench, or just in the middle of a bench, it’s not in two shoulder pads on the side- P: Well it’s like a headrest! D: Yeah, I love two giant plaques saying who died to make the bench! P: Look- D: as a headrest P: If you die, I’m not gonna give you a death-bench D: #JustBenchThings P: NOOO! D: (in high pitched voice) Oh nooo. D: Oh dear. P: I thought I had it. I was so D: Oh what a shame. P: Give me one. D: (in normal voice) Not the white ones D: Are pink marshmallows supposed to be flavoured? P: I don’t- D: What is it you’re always saying? P: Please give me one. D: They’re called the…the…the… D: …You fucking- What’s the point? (P: laughs )What’s the point- TAKE THEM! (P: laughs again)TAKE THEEEM! D: YOU DESERVE NOTHING! (P: Stop) D: WHAT’S THE POINT IN PLAYING WITH YOU?? (P: Ow) D: YOU WANT MARSHMALLOWS??? TAKE THEEEEM!!!!! D: I feel like we lost ourselves along the way here. D: Umm… You’re eating them? You disgust me. P: They’ve only been on my crotch P: It’s fine D: delet this D: I hope you had a fun time P: That was great D: This is always a complete disaster D: It really- you know if in the future artificial intelligence kind of automates traffic and D: medical care and stuff D: I you know we’ll all just be turned into flamingos and benches CAUSE IT DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT’S LOOKING AT P: I think that’s what’s going to happen P: If you enjoyed this give it a thumbs up P: ehhh sorry I failed you if anyone was rooting for me I was really trying – didn’t work out D: you tried very hard D: The washing machine it’s cause it was too detailed P: It was too much D: It was so good it couldn’t even recognize it P: It was the Sistine Chapel of drawing D: sure P: If you enjoyed Quick Draw give us a quick thumbs up D: PEW P: PEW P: Are we in the End Screen D: WHAT OH SHIT D: [VERYFAST] SUBSCRIBE IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE OF OUR VIDEOS WE’LL LINK TO SOME OF OUR ONES OVER THERE THEY’LL PROBABLY BE LESS STRESSFULL D: WHAT’S THE POINT OF COMPETING WITH PHIL WHEN HE EATS ALL THE MARSHMELLOWS ANYWAY D: EVEN THOUGH HE LOST I DON’T KNOW BUT YOU CAN CHECK OUT HIS CHANNEL OVER THERE ANYWAY OR YOU CAN CLICK IN THE DESCRIPTION THANK YOU FOR WATCHING GOODBYE P: bye!